Angelic Tears, Human Fears, & Demonic Laughs
by dollydolphin
Summary: What is to happen? Who opposes the union between the angels? Will the pain of her childhood ever fade mentally? How much does the music help? What is exactly going on with this family? Find out! This story is also on mibba user name Dollydolphin. It will have better AN on
1. An Angelic Birth To Twin Girls

An Angelic Birth to Twin Girls

_Excitement was a word I would describe at the beginning of the day now I would describe it as worrisome. My wife Hyun Jung has given birth to twin girls Sara Jae Hwa and Susanna Young Mi Rizzo but not all is going to plan. Huyn Jung is bleeding severely from giving birth naturally because of all the complications from this pregnancy and as for the twins Sara is fine better shape than Susanna gives birth. I still haven't gotten word from the nurses about Susanna's health just that she wasn't breathing when she was born and by Hyun Jung wishes, the twins are to come first even if it takes her life. My wife and the twins were in distress, the birthing happened to fast to stop her from bleeding out like the others, and the twins were born 4 weeks early. ~Kyle Rizzo_

A nurse comes in to the waiting room in a late October night, and she sits beside me.

"Are the doctors still working?" I ask.

"Yes, they are but the doctor working on Susanna has good news and I'm to bring you back to her," she replies. "She's breathing on her own and other than not breathing when she came out everything is fine with her. I don't know about your wife but consider you have one miracle that lived the other miracle will come."

"She's alive?"

"Yes, and I wouldn't say crying exactly but rather singing in a way."

October 26, 1988 my daughters and only daughter's birthday that they will share and will probably be the last children I have. I'm shown back to the exam room and the doctors just finish their examination of my daughter but she is crying but it is not a normal cry it does sound in a way like the one she is singing. It brightens my day that at least one is alive but I still don't know about my wife she was the ones to pick out their names and I love them for our daughters.

"What was wrong with her?" I ask.

"Hard to tell, she's healthy but she wasn't breathing and blue for 2 minutes so I would be lying if we are taking her to the nursery and she can go home at regular time. For now she'll go to NICU to make sure she is healthy and to run extra tests but she started to cry like nothing happened meaning we don't know if she has brain damage from not breathing. If the tests come out normal then there is probably negligible damage but we can't take that chance," The doctor replies. "What we think happened was she was not as ready as Sara to be born and therefore not always breathing and that she needed more time to mature which in this case from the distress she had to be born now."

"Will she relapse?"

"There is that possibility which is why she is going to NICU until we know she won't relapse and we'll do our hardest so she doesn't. When she is ready to go the nurse will inform you and any tests we do on her you'll have the results as long as you give the consent."

"Do as many tests as you need to on her just have her live."

At that they take Susanna to the NICU and I go to the regular nursery to see Sara and everyone is fawning over Sara but she is small so is Susanna but Susanna will be in the NICU. I talk to a nurse into holding Sara, I'm able to bring her out, and everyone wants to hold her but Rich and Ray are way too young to hold her without help and sitting down. In an hour, I see the doctor that is taking care of my wife, we go to a private waiting room, and I have a feeling something bad happen. It is because it took too long to save her life but there is hope that she survived but if she didn't I have to break the news and I haven't broken the news about Susanna right now.

"Mr. Rizzo, I hate to say this but your wife died on the operating table right now," he starts.

"We did all what we could but the transfusions and the long surgery just to save her life didn't work out the way we planned."

"I see," is all I could muster out before I feel tears run down my face and for the next hour I leave Mario in charge of the kids to get a hold of myself with my wife dying.

In what time I needed to calm down I talk to the kids about their mother or step-mother in Mario's case and Susanna. Everyone but the triplets are shocked by the news even if when I told Ray and Rich they had more questions since they don't quite understand the situation but they weren't happy that mom is dead and could lose a sister as to how Ray put it. I show them Susanna but the triplets find her air tube and were about to close it off if I didn't stop them and scold them for it. Susanna doesn't need to die and I don't want to cause Susanna more trouble so meaning I have to keep an eye on the triplets and talk to their father to take them in even if he doesn't want them. I will not stand for any abuse they might do to Susanna if they were so willingly going to shut of her breathing tube.

*Sousanna's POV*

"When am I ever going to get to heaven and this girl is barely hanging on by a thread if I wasn't in here," I think. "If the doctor's hadn't noticed my host wasn't breathing she would be dead and I would have to find a new host to live in. I need to find a way back to heaven without Lucifer noticing but how? I can't fight and I can't mind meld until I'm sure I'll be able to get to heaven and I don't sense any angel I know around so this might be the same as every host just no boys. I was a boy once and it did not work."

From the baby's ear, I hear the child's name Susanna similar to mine Sousanna but I'm going to take that as a coincidence and nothing beyond that since names mean nothing. Now if I have sensed another angel then I wouldn't consider this coincidental but then again most likely my fiancé is searching for me so he isn't in his next host yet most likely. I love him to death but he is so protective of me and for a good reason it just gets annoying at times. If I were in heaven over 40,000 years, I wouldn't be on Earth because Lucifer dragged me here.

*40,000 years ago*

There is a war going here in heaven between the Lord and Lucifer and it has caused my fiancé Leonides to be in the fight since he is the second in command in the Lord's army right under my father Michelangelo. It scares me not only for the reason that I could lose Leonides but that Lucifer can capture me since he is obsessed with me and has stalked me on occasion. He says it is love but it isn't just that he is very obsesses and lusting after me and he has ill intentions towards everyone and me in my family and Leonides are worried for my safety more than his are. It is due to the fact I can't defend myself. I don't let this stop me from planning the wedding since Leonides and I want it as soon as we can after the war is over. With that being said, I have one last thing to do for the wedding and that is picking out place settings. Zephyrnus aka Zeph or Z is my body guard comes in and he just looks at me as I finish getting my purse ready to leave and I know they are in discussion so the war could end soon but then again it could take days.

"You sure you want to do this?" asks Z.

"Yes, I am and besides I want to hold up my end of the bargain with the store and be there today at the scheduled time then having to reschedule," I reply. "It is the last thing I have to do and we can be in until I have my final fitting but the dress is still being made."

"True, but I don't get a good feeling with you leaving today and it would be safer if you stayed here until we are certain Lucifer is in hell so he can't get you. But I know I'm talking to a brick wall when it comes to your wedding and you don't like to hide even if you know you are invincible."

"You are correct and we need to leave now if we are to make it in time for the appointment."

"Yes, Sousanna"

We leave my house and get to the shop to look at what they have. The worker greets Z and me as we get through the door and shows us the set up which at first I'm a little taken back by since it is over the top that I normally do but I want it simple since I don't want to compete with the nature. Sure all my others have been inside so I had to make it extravagant but for outdoors, I want that to be the focus with my reception not the extras. I tell them that I think there was a mix up with one of my slips since I do a lot of business with this store so it can easily be mixed up and tell her what I was actually looking for. She agrees that someone mixed things up when setting up and that will be fixed in an hour. So for the hour we stay there looking around at other things that are more for my house if I want them but I see nothing that takes my eye and it gives them time to set up right. In fact, this time it is correct and I get a simple white plates and bowls with small pink flowers rimming them and plain silverware. I pay for them and tell them the time frame and I will call once we have a definitive date, which satisfied them. Little do we know that Z and I will be ambushed by the rebels to drag me to hell?

We leave the boutique and all what I can see is a flurry of black feathers falling and red eyes moving around fast so fast that I get separated from Z and I feel one of them pushing me down to the ground. Trying to fight them off, they just use more force making me break into them and they chain my arms, wings, and legs together before I can see how far away from Z I am. He is a good 10 feet away unconscious from me and there is no way in heaven he will be able to rescue me with 10 rebels surrounding me and I feel being jolted as the ground opens up to see I'm being dragged by a burgundy haired rebel and a chain leash attached to my neck. The next thing I remember is calling for help knowing that I didn't do anything wrong to go to hell which is why they have to drag me with them. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and I couldn't see this happening since I can't see in the future, which would be a lovely gift to have. As much as yelling for help will calm me but it won't do shit other than causing the now demons to keep me quiet which in fact happens by two of them putting a gag on in mid-fall.

*Narrator's POV*

The yelling of help from Sousanna's mouth was enough to wake Zephyrnus and he crawls to the hole that the lord created to see her being dragged through one eye that wasn't severely cut but he is not aware of it yet. He gets up and rushes to the meeting area to tell what has happened even if it means his head would be on the chopping block for letting Sousanna to go out while the deliberations were going on but if you know Sousanna, she is head strong. He makes it and Leonides, Michelangelo, and the Lord are worried what might have happened considering Z's left eye and it bleeding badly so they get him to the hospital wing before they have him tell what happened. Once he is bandage, he sighs.

"They captured, Sousanna," starts Z. "I tried to talk her out of going but she wanted to go and honor her word for showing up there despite you guys being in deliberations with the treaty. I'm sorry.

"You did your best to protect her and she is a headstrong child who has put her in dangerous spots but not this bad and honoring a word is a good thing. We didn't think this would end so soon anyways," replies Michelangelo.

"We'll have a search party, Zephyrnus," adds the Lord. "They shouldn't have gotten that far with her yet. Leonides, you'll head the search party seeing how she is your fiancée."

"Yes, my Lord," states Leo before leaving.

It takes a month worth of searching for Sousanna that they have to stop the full search on Earth since that means she is in hell but only a few people know she isn't dead but not enough time to see who will take her place. Leonides asked that he continue the search no matter how long it will take which it was granted so he leaves for Earth knowing full well after one life cycle he has to be in a host until he finds her and take his fiancée to heaven. He may not know where to look and that it will be several millennia before he will find her and no doubt, that the final form will mimic hell for the host wanting to be free and a final battle between Angels and Demons to make sure Sousanna and her host is safe. Leonides will eventually find a host in a friend yet to be born of Susanna's named Leo.

*Sousanna's POV*

The fall was long and not what I wanted and the demons would hit me whenever I tried to break free to go back to heaven or better yet land on Earth somewhere and be rescued much sooner than if I were to go to hell. Once in hell, the gag is taken out but place on the scolding ground chained to it causing me to scream in pain since they want to punish me for not being with Lucifer and agreeing to rebel. Sorry but I can't, heaven is a nice place and I already imprinted on Leonides before I even met Lucifer so that was a waste of his time but he doesn't get it. After awhile of me screaming alone in the lonely room Lucifer and the burgundy haired demon comes in only to have Lucifer grab the chain my neck causing me to quiet down.

"Be quiet," he commands. "You are in big trouble and don't think I'm going to go easy on your pet. You may be 5'10" but you know I'm 6'5" and much stronger than so you will do as I say without question and I will punish you badly if you disobey me. Do you understand, my pet?"

"I don't want to, you bastard! Let me go!" I retort back.

"No can do and you see him over there he is the keeper of your chains and he can punish you as he sees fit as well and I have given clearance to have fun with you if needed. I see they got you prepped properly for me and I believe I shall take this time for the both of us to get acquainted sexually. I'd hate to waste this positioned because he won't let you be in this position long it was just enough to give you pain and what would come if you disobey me."

With that he removes his pants and get on me since I'm already naked and rapes me which only causes to me to scream louder since I don't want this. When he is done, the chain keeper comes over and before he moves me; he just looks at me and unleashes my hands and legs but moves the leash on my neck to the wall and goes out of the room. Here I am naked in an insanely hot room alone no one I know nor even care to know so I decide to stop ovulation so I don't get pregnant by his hands hoping that I can get away with this since I don't think I'll ever get out of hell. Day in and day out, I'm guarded and the only two people that are allowed in are Lucifer and my chain keeper whose name is Attor. Fitting really since he deals with most of my punishments and has this nasty sting when he does it but little to both now what I'm hiding from them when they both rape me. It takes Lucifer a 3 angelic years (30 years in human time) to figure it out and now I have been in this room alone for that long when he comes barging in and angry. Before saying a word he takes me off of my leash and throws me on the ground and gets on top of me since I'm kept naked for easy entrance but this time is different since I feel Lucifer's claws in my back causing me to scream in pain.

"You make me mad, pet, and do you want to know why? It is because you've stopped your ovulation even if you didn't stop your monthly and I want no I need children from you and you don't want my kids. You better start your ovulation back up or I'm going to kill you. Attor doesn't care if you stopped it but I do so start it before you end up dead. Do you understand it, pet?" demands Lucifer.

"Yes, sir, I'm sorry I won't stop my ovulation again. Just release your claws from me," I plead as salty tears run down my cheek.

"Good girl, I know we'll have beautiful kids together and you will forget about Leonides."

Lucifer kisses my cheek before releasing his claws and getting me on my back so he can strip himself and have his way with me one more time. I have learned not to fight it but I don't want it all the same it is just that they broke me down since I hardly have any contact with people outside of this room and the punishments are very cruel. He has his way and puts me back on the wall and I finally see the blood dripping from my back since little food has weakened my only defense, which is my skin and is normally harder than most armor. There might now be scars on my brown skin, which as of right now pains me a lot. Shortly after Lucifer demanded, I don't stop ovulation I find myself pregnant with twins which Lucifer subject them while in the womb experiments not caring if it causes me pain and worry for their safety. The only thing I do is pray if I have a girl that she will not be able to give birth at all not knowing it will come true since I don't know if Lucifer will do the same thing to her as he is doing to me. I have two children whom thankfully, I can name and it was a boy and a girl that I named Chad and Delilah but what they are would shock you but from the experiments, they became vampires. As they grow it is a welcome relief when they are with me because of their cold skin and I can somewhat get comfortable in this prison I'm in. They see it, they see the abuse that their father and Attor deal me but I don't have a hope that they will help me since they should be under Lucifer's control. One day I get a surprise from them and Chad unhooks me from the leash, which I'm never off of. 170 years since they were born and today is there birthday but they must have gotten away from the ceremony to come here, which is always their wish during the ceremony, but little do I know what they are fully planning.

"Chad, I'll get the portal," Delilah states. "They won't notice until it is too late considering how long we stay here but mom's health it is deteriorating."

She's right, I'm not healthy and it is because of everything the lack of food, the heat, the abuse, and anything else I'm just glad I never got a full term pregnant again after them since my health wouldn't sustain another full term pregnancy. I had a lot of miscarriage after them but Lucifer nor Attor would place it on my living condition and only after I'm Earth will my health slowly return and will take years to do but unfortunately I may not have years to get it better if they find me.

"Mom, hang in there we're getting you of hell," soothes Chad. "And we'll protect you and your hosts with our lives so they can never get you again. And we'll find your fiancé, Leonides's right?"

"Yes," I muster out. "But what makes you guys think that I can walk let alone fly? I haven't done them in 200 years and I can just pace this room and since you were born my legs don't even have the strength to do that."

"I'm carrying you out and until you can get on your feet we'll be right beside you getting you stronger. Besides we don't like Lucifer and Attor as much as you anyways."

I nod my head and the portal is done as Chad gets me on his back since Chad is roughly 6'10" a foot taller than me but Delilah is short only 5'2". We get to Earth and the portal is closed but the air feels good to me and for the next following months, I get stronger even if Chad has to move me when we are on the run. I know once I'm strong enough I have to go into hiding in humans just to save my life and they can't do that. About a year in, I'm almost back to my previous health, which is a lot faster than I thought but my children took good care of me but I know it is time for now we have to depart ways.

"Chad, Delilah, look out for one another and keep the numbers of vampires you make down to a minimum," I state. "I don't know how the Lord will like it but I need to go into hiding but thank you for nursing me back to health and I'll be looking forward to see you two when it gets closer to time that I must go to heaven."

"We'll try and take care of you as well," replies Delilah and Chad all but nods his head.

I then close my eyes and find my first host whose life was mundane for this time. As time goes on my hoists change in certain ways and I have never been particular up until the Victorian Era in England were my host was my first and only boy, Cain C. Hargreaves. Though, it mimicked my life in hell to a certain degree I never mind melded with him but I vowed to never go into a guy again because I make them too weak. Finally I get in my today's host Susanna not knowing in a year I will mind meld with her and keep her alive beyond the points that she should die just to go to heaven without Leonides starting his search all over nor what her life will bring.

*Present day*

I want to keep this host alive as much as I can but I don't want to overstep boundaries but I've had hosts that died as a child or a baby, which wasn't fun. I think there was another reason a reason I couldn't see but that the demons have found this host and will attack her to extract me. They rarely find my hosts but never succeed in killing her and I haven't seen Attor or Lucifer again so I'm wondering if it was Attor who has found me and he won't give up easy.

*Kyle's POV*

After the long day I have the kids at home, I'm in the NICU looking at Susanna through her incubator, and I have her hand around a little finger meaning she just needs held. If there was anything I can do was to give up my life just so she can live along with any one of my children and not many people are in here for the night since I just gave the kids to the butler and the nanny to take care of tonight. I feel compelled to be here tonight and I don't know why but after awhile I see a guy behind me and I swear there are shadows of large bird wings but when I turn around there aren't any. I don't know what is going on but he also looks at my daughter with kind eyes since Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee with their 2 children where to see them but she so far has taken more people by the heart other than the triplets.

"May I help you with something?" I ask.

"No, but I come to serve a warning to you," he replies. "Do not tell anyone else and I'm the reason you want to be here other than your daughter. I'm an angel named Michelangelo and your daughter is a host to my daughter Sousanna and this is the first I have to do this but I have to. I have a message for you and it isn't pretty for you or Susanna. First off find a new nanny she'll crack under pressure but we can't tell which child is in danger since that decision isn't made but she is feeling the pressure now so add help to her and we think it might be Susanna. As for her life don't expect to be in her life much longer once she turns for Lucifer is very aware that she reside in your daughter but will wait for the right time to attack but that doesn't mean Attor the chain keeper of Sousanna wouldn't hesitate to attack her to extract the angel. As for the triplets, I'm sure you are very aware considering the stunt they pulled earlier today, they have ill intentions to her and I will do your hardest to keep her away from them. The police here will not believe you or her until it is too late for her and most of it will be after your death."

"I don't fully understand?"

"I expected as much, but I can't freely talk here with you but in a few days at your home I'll explain more but I know this is sudden new for you and all happening in the future. But I assure you the breathing right after she was born was a onetime fluke, no damage was done, and she'll be a healthy kid."

He leaves after he said that I turn back to Susanna who is looking this way as if she knew someone was here. Susanna only stays in the NICU for a week and is able to return home with a clean bill of health and we have the twin's 100 day ceremony the day before we leave for my movie that I'm producing and directing in South Korea. Everyone is fine but I could get legally Aunt Megan and Uncle Aaron to take in the triplets since their father is afraid of them but nothing would make me feel what Michelangelo said but didn't head. I'm at work and I'm getting done with a small break when the assistant on the set has a phone saying it is very urgent that I take it expecting it to be my company about something not Mario calling about medical problems.

"Dad, Sue's in the hospital," he starts and my hear skips thinking she stopped breathing.

"Is she alright?" I ask. "Did she stop breathing?"

"I don't know and no at least not on her own she stopped breathing. The nanny snapped and Susanna was in her arms crying wanting fed but instead of feeding her, she shook her and hit her head on the wall many times before I can get her to stop and she said it wasn't the first time for her. They checked out Sara, Rich, and Ray and they're fine but Susanna is still being check out and it doesn't look good. I called you as soon as I could since I was trying to tell them in Korean and had to wait until I got a translator. They haven't said how Susanna is to me and I think CPS is being involved because of what happened. I'm scared."

"Ok, calm down we'll take this one step at a time. I'll close down here for the day and be there shortly and to see where the nanny is."

"Yes, dad"

At that, I hang up and gather everyone up to tell he or her family emergency has come up and I have to stop shooting for the day before rushing to the hospital. Once I get there, I meet the Korean police and give them a story before I can hear how Susanna is doing but the doctor said she is surgery and will give me the prognosis afterwards but he is doubtful that she'll live. I take that time to go to the police station and fire the nanny knowing full well I'll need to hire a new one but shaking my daughter is inexcusable even if she was flustered. CPS thank god understood and glad that I fired here so I still have my custody over my children but Susanna is living just may not have the best life anymore. She does have brain damage but what look like it should be seizures but instead she faints though it looks like nothing else has been damaged as she grows. She is very intelligent and it didn't give her learning disabilities so unless the person knows where her fainting spells come from no one knows but her fainting spells are a battle in themselves. Susanna may not faint everyday but she has symptoms of fainting everyday, which the butler, the new nanny, Mario, and I know very well and as she grows Susanna will know very well as well. She is my miracle child even if she has an angel inside of her probably minimizing the affect.


	2. Childhood From Hell

The Childhood from Hell

_How much longer do I have with my kids especially Susanna? I keep having these dreams that I'm going to die and not in the most pleasant way and I know Susanna gets the short end of the stick with my attention and anyone's attention other than the butler's. I try and she knows I try but the more active and whiny kids get my attention and she doesn't like to fight for attention from me, which is worrisome, but her head may have to deal with this. I make time for her but she needs more of my time even if she gets the equal time of the others because of things she has been through and she doesn't get to go to places that she wants to go. I guess time will only tell. ~ Kyle Rizzo_

*Susanna's POV*

We are at the doctors well my pediatrician who seems to always be amazed by me as well as my neurologist and they can't believe how much I've grown or how much I am learning though half of is due to the angel in me who is mind melded with when I was 1 I think. Meaning I shouldn't know what type of doctors, I'm going to by the actual title but by oh a child's doctor or a head doctor as Sara would put it but I have so much more of these appointments than her that it gets very annoying. Today it is just to chart growth and get shots, which I get one monthly to minimize the risks to me or at least that is what dad says anyways. I don't know why other than the angel here I find this boring and dad doesn't let me talk to anyone in the hospital due to a brain injury that I can't remember plus not to mention I haven't been feeling too well lately so this will be double for daddy to ease his mind. Right now as Sara is getting checked out I'm into a book that Mario got for me since I go through too many books and end up stealing his high school books for school or his chapter books. I read more books than I watch TV and if I can get the nanny to take me some place new I can but that requires delegating and then the others will speak up and we'll change course to a familiar place.

"Susanna, you're up," states the doctor and I put the book down. "I see you still like to read and is that a physics book?"

"Yep, Mario got it for me since I steal his school books or his chapter books much to his annoyance and to deal with that he gives me my own," I reply.

"I think we need to get your IQ tested since you'll be headed to school soon so it will be easier for your dad to find something challenging to you."

"We already had it done and it was over 180," replies dad. "I'm either looking at tutors for her if we are staying here or actually moving this year and I plan to move to Los Angeles and have enrolled in Newton's Academy in the Johnson's Private Schools since I think they should be the best for her. She just wants to constantly learn things, which I'm not stopping, but she gets out voted when she wants to do something new. And I have some concern, Susanna seems to be getting sick but her temperature hasn't spiked into the danger zone or bad enough that she is stuck in one place yet but knowing she is getting a shot today I'm a little worried."

"I would be to and I will check it out but you know I'm not going to prescribe anything for her unless she is significantly sick and I know what is making her sick otherwise she'll be out even more than what she is now. But over 180, has she shown interest in what she is interested?"

"Yes, music and lots of it but science is right behind it and I have her in singing lessons, and she is begging for piano, guitar, and whatever instruments she can think of to have lessons with. This is why I want Newton's Academy for her since they'll place her in her aptitude since she starts and will gain more knowledge as she grows. She has even written some songs not good songs by her own words but she is making songs up and I can't get her to stop at points not to mention she likes classical music and modern music and will get bibliographies at the library if not bought for her."

The doctor checks my height and weight before saying anything else but he is happy for what it seems.

"She's 47 inches and 47 pounds which is very good considering her head and I've seen both sides of her family and it seems she is taking more after your side since you are 6'4" and has muscle. So she will be tall and how her weight goes we'll see but she is very tall for her age since she is 3'11". I predict she may reach anywhere from 5'7" to possibly 6'. Sara is only 41 inches or 3'6" and 38 pounds, which are good as well, but there is a noticeable height difference between the two while Sara will reach the more average heights between 5'3" to 5'7". She is the first out of your blended family for a significant height differences between the multiples since it took the triplets until they were 8 to see some notice between the boys and Farah and 10 to see a difference between the boys and with Rich and Ray you still can't see the difference."

"Other than Mario, the others have taken after their mom who was petite at 5'3" and didn't have much of a body and they have her mannerisms."

"True, oh and how are the triplets behaving around Susanna? Are they still abusing her?"

"I don't let her to be around them even with adult supervision so she hasn't seen them in a year and half since the police won't believe us and their guardians enable the abuse or around the others. I don't want Susanna dead and formally they see each other on the major holidays or gatherings but she is either by her nanny, Mario, our butler, or my side so they don't come near and harm her. When they see a chance, they will take it and I have it in my will that she is not to go to that Aunt and Uncle but to either go with Mario, to Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee or as a last resort entrusted to my estate in case I die. The same with the other kids but my wife's parents are on the list for the four due to the fact they are in some shape or form part of an ancient but aristocratic family. And I know there is a possibility of all of them being separated especially with Susanna and having special needs and if at that time of my death on her condition."

"You want your kids to be safe and I don't blame you for keeping them away from her or the other siblings I was just asking so incase I see bruises where they shouldn't be other than how she falls when she has fainted."

He does more check and just said to keep an eye on me since my temperature is higher than normal but other than that, I have a clean bill of health and I get my shot as Sara gets the normal 4. As always, dad gets the next one set up for me for next month but that night I get sicker so sick that, I end up fainting. Most likely, the shot along with me being sick has amplified things and I'll be out of commission until I get better. It is so much that I sleep for the majority of the next day but my temperature doesn't warrant going to the ER though he called my neurologist and pediatrician so they would be aware and I was allowed children Tylenol or Advil if it gets too much worse but not enough to go to the hospital. Dad made soup for me and I eat it all day whenever he can get me up to get something in me otherwise I will not eat anything all day. Dad gets me ready for bed at 10 since it when I had energy to get ready but I'm still very sleepy but I swear I'm hallucinating since I see a group of demons with their red eyes and leathery wings.

"Daddy, are there people in here?" I ask hoping that no one is making him turn around.  
He then gets me under him before saying anything to me, "No matter what stay either under me or your bed for protection. You'll learn in time that there are things that are alive that aren't humans with our intelligence or higher. Do you understand?"

"Yes"

*Attor's POV*

How cute the human father thinks he can protect his daughter from us but he can't and I have it planned that we are after her and that it was a gang. What makes this even more pleasing is if we get disrupted, Susanna is sick and if she survives which she most likely will because of Sousanna she'll think she was hallucinating. Her dad on the other hand will not survive. I yell for attack and the father did a good job but we finally get her and after several hits and her screaming it goes silent in the room until the door is being banged on and I have the demons leave but this should make the human scared for her life. But I leave knowing I killed the last remaining parent and will corrupt the judge to give her to Aunt Megan and Uncle Aaron so the triplets can do my dirty work while I wait patiently and that the host is in a coma.

*Susanna's POV*

I wake up to beeping around me and things don't feel good so when I open my eyes I have to squint because of the bright lights and I see nurses running around me like mad. What's going on? Why are they running around? They finally take whatever tube is in my throat out and I start to cough as the doctor comes in and he smiles.

"Do you know your name?" he asks. "And your dad's?"

"Yes, I'm Susanna Young Mi Rizzo and my dad is Kyle Bartolo Rizzo."

"What year is it?"

"1993"

He goes on with a few more questions before finally putting away the clip board but what is going with all these questions?

"What is going on?" I ask.

"You were attacked by a mob or something all what we know they attacked you and your father and seemed to be after you. Both you and your father were in a coma and your dad is still in a coma right now from the trauma you guys received but we didn't think you would recover this quick. You were out for 3 weeks and the police will be here to get your side of the story soon since we aren't letting you leave but do you remember the attack at all? You came in with a high temperature on top of the injuries."

"I was hallucinating since I was sick so I wouldn't be of much help."

"Anything you can give will be helpful."

I nod my head and the policeman show up after 5 minutes and they ask me all these questions that I couldn't answer because I was hallucinating I'm sure of it or at least have to put it on for them. It seems now I'm more angel than human which is also very scary meaning I should have died but didn't because of her. They leave when they have me sign my statement and I'm shown my father and it just pains me to see him knowing he protected me and pretty much injured if not died in front of my eyes since they say he is getting worse each day. I only stay for a short time (a week) in recovery which shocks everyone but I have to see my neurologist to make sure I don't need surgery on my head which I do because the piece of skull has broken off but didn't heal properly so it needs set. It is set when in a few months so I can get stronger to survive the surgery and during this time before deciding to pull the plug on dad I stayed with Mario but the triplets keep looking at me funny. I keep hearing them talk that I'll finally be back in their hands and other lawyer up as if this is a fight for parental rights but still dad isn't dead and I'm hoping he'll make a turn around. It finally comes to the day that the plug is pulled and the day before my surgery, which my neurologist wants me in that night so I'm with my dad, but not many people stay in the room other than the butler and me. In fact, I'm lying on his bed beside him crying since he was my protector from them and I don't want him to die leaving me with my triplets because of the situation I was put in. The butler sighs and moves a hair strand from my face.

"I have orders until you are released from the hospital if the decision is made or until a decision is made once you are released to make sure you are taken care of," he states.

I nod my head and after awhile the nurses want me out and I know why they want me out but at least I can spend some more time with dad. I get checked in at that point for the surgery tomorrow and shown to my room which is very lonely despite dad's former butler whose only duty for now is to take care of me until I know who I'm going to. The surgery went well since there were no complications and many people are happy about that but some aren't. Due to recovery in the hospital I had to miss dad's funeral but Aunt Megan had to televise it so it was shown to the world even if it means I could see it on the TV it didn't respect dad's privacy which he loved so much. And soon after dad's death it was decided most of us will be separated Rich and Ray with Grandpa and Grandma* (in Korean: Halmeoni), Sara is with Mario, and I'm to go to Aunt Megan and Uncle Aaron because my situation. I wish I were going to someplace else because they will abuse me and use me as their slave.

The butler is dismissed whole heartily by Uncle Aaron and Nathan grabs my arm roughly to drag me to the car but Mario looks at me with a worried look since he knows what will go on. He is only to stay here for his last year in high school then leave for college next year making me even more alone than I am with no family members to care for me. The car ride is very quiet on the ride to the house and I let a few tears fall from my eyes since I don't want to be here. I don't know how long I will last with them on me and so forth but they will make it a living hell while Aunt Megan and Uncle Aaron with their kids still living there will turn their back on the abuse. Once at the house, I'm dragged in by Nathan again to get me into my room and Farah and Jason joins but the door is closed with Jason leaning on the door with his 12 year old body.

"Here are the ground rules in the house," starts Nathan again roughly handling me. "You are our slave and will do as we say with no back talk and even if you didn't do anything wrong we will still punish you and it will not be pleasant. You shall tell no one under any circumstances what we are doing to you and if you do, it means your life, which we will not hesitate. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I reply weakly and they smirk.

"Good now your first task is to get us dinner since we are famished but don't think you will be allowed to eat until after we do and besides you need to be skinnier," replies Farah.

At that, I leave to find the kitchen and start it but they have nothing out for dinner nor did they say what they want but I'm only 4 and dad doesn't let me operate the stove when I want to help him cook it is normally adding the ingredients. Sighing I dig through stuff until Aunt Megan comes in and shows what we are having so I cook it from the recipe for chicken they gave me but this seems like it is going to be a long time for me. They liked my cooking but that night to initiate things off they hit me hard and so much that when they leave I'm crying and bleeding on my bedrooms floor. Why me? Why did I have to live to go through this pain and not end up dead like dad? I can sense I'm more angel now than human but that doesn't negate my human spirit who is actually dead so why keep the host body alive. Nothing is making sense at all and I wish for once that it did even with the angel's brain.

The next four years are torture but I have no clue that it will get worse much worse but inkling that shortly that it will add sexual abuse. I say this only because over time while I was working or had free time which is rare they would expose one or both of my nipples and play with them as if they are waiting for something to happen. It scares me to death and they laugh while they are doing it as if it is normal and ignoring my protests to stop it. Also slowly over the years my room gets rearranged and it first started with the door lock so it can lock from the outside and not the inside leaving me locked in there until I'm let out, my bed was changed to one that has metal bed posts than wood that have slots and it becomes cold and not inviting. There are many new things in there that I don't touch but they use to beat me with and will have me chained down while doing it this past year though some look like sex objects and haven't been touched yet. As for schooling, I was given a tutor and I only have an hour to do homework before I'm theirs again from school but I don't need that entire long.

Here I am 8 years old and Farah has me but as always when it is my turn I have to do her chores that she has neglected doing making my day even longer but thank got it is summer time meaning no school so I can finish without going to much in the night. I have finished vacuuming, the dishes, and 4 others things to do so now I'm cleaning the kitchen with an improper tool since she doesn't give me what I need to do the job properly like Jason and Nathan who actual do chores when I'm not theirs. I put in the broom head one more time and I feel weak since I wasn't allowed to eat lunch today and I need something to fuel me and then my shine black very curly hair strand falls in my eyes so I brush it away since I have my hair in a pony tail before continuing. I'm about finishing up when I hear Jason and Nathan by the door way to the kitchen talking to each other and laughing before their attention is directed at me.

"When will you be done with the kitchen?" asks Jason as I feel his lust filled eyes looking up and down on my body.

"I'm almost done," I reply knowing lying will get me in more trouble than what it is worth. "But I still need to clean the stair well, the book shelves, make dinner, do the dishes, and clean Farah's room so I won't be fully done for the day until late in the night."

"Consider everything but dinner and clean up after that to be lifted off of you," adds Nathan and he puts his foot on me meaning he has came in. "So hurry up so you can do what Jason and I ask you to do of course then it won't require you to be down here."

I nod my head and there isn't much to finish it up and I get the bucket dumped out before they grab me only to be dragged up to my room. I'm scared especially when they threw me on my bed and remove my clothes before chaining me down causing me to fight the restraints which is 2 handcuffs and I think to leg cuffs but I'm not positive. They laugh at this before Jason moves the strands that have fallen in my face from me struggling because I don't want to be hit or worse still one of them raping me. At that, Jason leans over me and kisses me on the lip causing Nathan to laugh louder as I start to cry since I know they won't listen to me begging them. He stops and grabs what looks like to be lubrication tube before coming closer, I also see duct tape in Nathan's hand, and I cry harder.

"Please don't do this to me," I plead knowing it is too late and that they made up their minds about this already as Jason gets in between my legs. "I don't want to have sex with you two and I'm only 8 years old."

"Too late, Susanna," retorts Nathan. "You shall not cry out any more and if you do rebel again you will be beaten badly. Understand?"

I nod my head as Nathan puts the tape over my mouth and Jason starts to cover the area with lubrication making me close my eyes. I don't want this and the next thing I know the pain rushing through me makes me open them and give a muffled scream in pain causing them to laugh again.

"Keep them open, Susanna," commands Jason. "You are missing the most wonderful part and if you close them again I will make you regret it shortly."

Jason smirks and I can feel him start to thrust in me and I just lay there looking up at the ceiling and as soon as he climaxed Nathan gets on top with the exact same demand but he goes much rougher and faster than Jason causing me to scream for a much longer time in pain than with Jason. The pain subsided only when Nathan gets out of me and I'm fully aware how much I'm crying because these bastards harming me like this. Once their pants are on Farah comes in and she looks at me before turning her head to Jason and Nathan.

"Give her back to me," she demands. "You can have your fun with her tonight if you so wish by disturbing my orders on her aren't good. Do we have to have another fight when we get her or are we finally going to kill that, fat slut! Give her back to me know."

"Farah, if you were better at your own chores when she isn't yours we wouldn't be taking her away from you but Uncle Aaron and Aunt Megan ruled that we can have her during your turn for a month. So do your own chores otherwise you will never be getting her back," scolds Nathan and Jason are sitting beside me playing with my hair.

"Fine," she replies and storms off but at that, Nathan grabs something that looks like a wiffle ball attacked to rope and Jason rips off the duct tape.

The new gag is placed in my mouth but they had to pry my mouth open before placing it in. The boys leave me alone in bodily fluids and blood and I start to cry louder since this is sheer torture to me and they don't care what they just did to me. Sure they didn't beat me up but that is coming tonight I know but they raped me! I'm not too only what sex is at only 8 year old and the fact that they don't care scares me very badly. In fact, for that afternoon, I cry myself to sleep and no one wakes me up until that evening in which I'm looking into green eyes and no one in this family other than past members of mom's side had green eyes. I blink a few time before I realize that I've been free of the restraints and have a cover on me which I wasn't expecting but then someone might have taken a pity on me and I'm sure it wasn't Alexis Hargreaves now that I recognize him.

"What do you want?" I ask suspiciously.

"Your dinner is ready so you may want to get changed to eat but you've certainly thinned down since the last time I saw you, Susanna," he states. "And don't worry about your half siblings for the remainder of the night and will have to go through me if they want to hurt you tonight considering what you've been through already today. I had a maid clean you up and you continue to sleep through it and you do eat?"

"Yes, but they don't give me much to eat that I'm still hungry afterword. But why are you being nice to me? You are never nice for too long and it seems that with me you are always nice to me."

"These guys will be the one to put you through hell and I don't want to put you through more of it and besides you were named in by standards a falsely accused woman and a follower of Jesus both were strong women. Now I wish you eat with me so please change."

He leaves and I quickly change to have the door open when I'm done to see a two year old boy so I kneel down to see that he is and if he was lost since a young kid can get lost in this house. He said his name was Cain and that he was sent up here to hurry me up so I say that I was ready and that I can show him where the dining room is and after supper, we can play together. His eyes light up at that and it is rare that I have free time but I still don't fully trust Alexis for some reason or another but it might be due to my angel in who will not tell me her whole past. The evening after having a filling supper for once is nice and it seems that once I went to bed they left but I'm not positive.

*Attor's POV*

4 more years until she is Lucifer's again; but here I am sitting in a tree hoping nothing screws up this plan like last time but then again I was weakening her but the eldest child and butler had to interrupt things. I hate waiting more than anything but I have to wear the girl down and it didn't take much for me to convince the three siblings who despise her for the most trivial reason since as a baby they can't kill. I just want her back in hell so Lucifer and I can deal with her properly but that means I'll be dealing out the punishment Lucifer requires since he doesn't like to dirty his hands with Sousanna. This may take a long time but I'm more than willing to wait to get her since this requires a lot of patients and what Lucifer is probably running out at this point.

*Susanna's POV*

Another 4 years have passed and the rising sun woke me up. Here I am chained to my bed in what is my room but it doesn't seem it, it seems more like a cage that I'm not supposed to leave when I'm in here. I'm their slave, punching bag, and a sex toy that doesn't seem to get any breaks other than for school and homework even then it isn't long even if it is the normal school time and only an hour to do homework. It is summer time, that means I have no school so all day I'm theirs, and apparently, at night as well seeing how the boys were in and out all night long raping me. Then again that is nothing new anymore since they started to sexually me with I was almost exactly 4 years they started the nightly rituals that they will come in here and do it during the night and even in the mornings. Not to mention my food consumption has went way down since then and now I may go without food and only have they consider my meal, which is when they forced me to give them oral. They are the most disgusting people I know and my family that lives here is a second close since they allow this to happen telling me to women up and take it. And it is completely normal to some sort of fucking machine in me when they are done either for the whole night or for segments to keep me on edge making me hardly get any sleep.

In fact last night when Jason was done he put in the cursed machine that he likes to put in me so much but no only that he saw me trying to move about from my chains and screaming from the wiffle ball gag. It is very humiliating, they monitor my calls so I tell no one, which scares me that I will die by their hands and it seems no one cares. I just wish the one time that I would have died when I was for or better yet that I were never born since they blame me for our mom's death when most say it was because of complications with the pregnancy. Either after some odd minutes, alone the door open and I see Jason and Nathan smirking at me or if I could I would chew them out, kill them, or both but they have broken me down so much. Jason comes up to my head and starts to pet my hair but I turn away as Nathan gets in between and plays with that machine but in shot to kick if I wasn't chained.

"Jason, I think Susanna need more than the vibrating can give her are you up for another round with her before she dies?" asks Nathan and I start to fight my chains since in all reality I don't want to die but to be rescued.

"Of course I'm up for another round for my pretty little angel," replies Jason. "But our neighbors and media had to get curious to find out what was happening then calling the police so it isn't like we have to punish Susanna for it but we need her dead so the word doesn't get out. What do you say, pretty angel?"

I violently shake my head no but I know it is going to be ignored and I was right. Nathan starts a rhythm with that damn machine but since I was 10 and I don't why but I start to moan until they are pleased with the results. They say my body is changing to have sex more enjoyable and that they now can get me to climax but I hate them so much that I wish they were the ones that are dead or at least put in jail so they aren't hurting me or other people. The gag is removed and Jason sits on my body with his penis in my mouth as Nathan goes in the other way and I hear them laugh at me like always.

"Last meal, angel, and you have no say what it is so eat my cum and you'll get Nathans later," coos Jason and tears began to roll down my face as they start to rape me over and over.

They take turns for over an hour having their way and in positions they want along with playing with my feelings and me. They don't see nor do they care what this does to me and I feel painful things going into my back, stomach, and anywhere they can get a hold of and I think they have something in their hands. They stop and I just slump on my bed to see blood everywhere and cut on my brown skin before they remove the gag that they put back in after "feeding" me. Only Nathan leaves and Farah comes in with him and I weakly lift my head to see what is going on but I see no gun but soon I'm jolted up but Jason's hand around my neck and he starts to hit the back of my head. I pass out after the third hit to my head and as for what happened afterwards, I'm not positive since all I see is darkness and I hear nothing, which could possibly mean they succeeded in killing me.

*Mario's POV*

I get a call from the police since I have came back to see Sue and to try and take her away when they aren't looking but I wasn't expecting what is to come. I am making sure I have a suitcase when my cell phone goes off so I answer it since it is either the police since they were notified sometime last night or my dad's estate since I'm working for them.

"Hello, Mario Rizzo speaking," I greet.

"Mr. Rizzo, this is the police station," states an officer. "You need to head to the house Susanna has residence in right now to talk to the police man and I warn you it may not be good. Apparently they got wind of it and that is all what I'm going to say."

My heart drops when I get this since there was always a possibility that this was coming to late and I'm sure they were paranoid. Not only did the neighbor and media called in but everyone that knew her and being worried about her safety following the round of pictures that the paparazzi took of her some odd months ago. I say I'll get there shortly and I get to the house and I see an ambulance loading Susanna up and she looks very bad with everything on her but the detective comes up to me and he sighs.

"Is she alive?" I ask.

"Barely, we don't know all what she needs or anything but she was hardly breathing when we got here and no one was around," he replies. "We need the names that live here if you don't mind so we can track them down and get questions answered. If you don't mind can you please give them to me?"

"No problem the main family that lives here are Aaron and Megan Greenberg with their adoptive children Kelly, Nicole, Bartholomew, and Kyle Greenberg the kids are 18 to 21 years old and Aaron and Megan are both around 30 years old but they adopted my step-siblings Farah, Jason, and Nathan Jenkins and they are Susanna's maternal half siblings. Farah, Jason, and Nathan are triplets so they are 20 years old."

I give them the description of every person plus saying I know that Farah, Jason, and Nathan were the ones to do this to her and then I'm allowed to go and see Susanna. At the hospital I tell the receptionist who I am looking for, that she was just brought here but I'm taken to a waiting room where I wait for 3 hours before a doctor comes back, and he has me sit before saying anything. My mind is racing thinking she died on the way here and nothing can bring her back but there is still part of me that thinks she is still alive but it isn't strong.

"Where is Susanna Rizzo?" I ask.

"The police just got to her in time a minute longer she would be dead but she is alive but barely and we aren't sure if she'll make it. Whoever tried to kill her was aware of her head and put her back into a coma not to mention she has a lot of cuts that she lost so much blood from that we don't know what will happen. We had some blood drawn up since she did have signs of prolonged sexual abuse possibly for years and it seems she has suffered a lot under the hands of someone but they weren't full adults like young adults. I will tell the police we are possibly looking in the range of 16 to 25 year old to see where it takes but she cannot give them her statement anytime soon," he replies. "We are sorry and they will find the ones who did this to her."

"I know who did this to her, the triplets and they have always abused her and the parents enabled it. God she should have came with me when dad died and now she has to go through way too much that she is too young for. Do you know when you'll find out the results of the blood test?"

"In a couple days most likely a week max. We'll let you know if anything comes up but she is headed into brain surgery they broke her skull again and there is bleeding in the brain. After surgery, you can go see her but she will be placed in the pediatric ICU. But we need someone over 18 needs to sign for the rape kit to give to the police."

"I will have no problems with that and please keep me informed."

"Of course."

He gives me the paper and I sign for it and let him have it but I spend that time calling the people who are here to come to the hospital with everyone in case Sue wakes up and anyone who can't make it so they will be updated. My heart is aching and I don't want to leave Sue's side but after a week, I need to go back to work since I will not be able to get more time off but this was planned to get her now, have custody changed over, and then move her. It has fallen apart since the triplets are paranoid as hell that someone will find out and take their slave away from them which did happen I just hope they go to prison for this crime for a long time if not get the death sentence. No one should have their childhood taken away from them whatsoever and dad when he was alive tried to give Susanna a childhood as different as it may be to the average person or mine. Now it is getting to heal properly and to a place, she'll be safe.

*Attor's POV*

I am seething with anger as this plan failed and they failed since humans can't do a good of a job to kill a human host to an angel than a demon can. I'm looking into the hospital where the host was taken trying to figure out a new plan, which will take awhile, but Lucifer will not be happy to hear it backfiring. She will live if the angel has anything to do with it and it will just make it that much harder to kill her but much easier to extract the angel. I hate that Seraphina will be here any second to see how well this plan went to report it to Lucifer since she is the snake messenger and she never gets her hands dirty.

"So how did the plan work?" asks Seraphina.

"It didn't go as plan the host is just in a coma," I reply. "I shouldn't have left humans to do my job but I didn't want to get caught again. I have another plan in the works but it won't be for awhile so if Lucifer wants to punish me tell me when and where I should go."

"Actually he liked the show, other when she was 4 so he is happy you gave it a valiant effort and especially not to get caught. But he also wants you to have a problem the person we have says she'll find her fiancé once she gets released and it will make it even harder. So he knew these attempts wouldn't work until the final battle against God. Think about, once Lucifer wins he'll win Susanna's heart and you two can have her to fuck to your heart's content. Of course then if you lose the battle this time they will make sure she won't get captured again so he has been planning his battle but he wanted to do it without a battle so that is why he wanted to find her and extract her as soon as you could."

"So you guys all knew everything will fail, why doesn't that surprise me? Will Susanna live?"

"Yes, though much weaker from the attack but I like you to meet Leila."

I see a hot pink haired demon that is probably 5'1" if not smaller compared to my 6'2" self but at least it a welcome relief for me to do this all alone.

"I'm Attor, Leila," I greet.

"So I heard, and you look hot, so what's your plan this time around with the play thing?"  
Seraphina leaves and I fill in Leila in what my next plan is to get Sousanna out of the host.

*Rosalie Hale's POV*

It has been a month since the ambulance, police was over at our neighbor's house, and Carlisle had to take the girl that I called the police for that seemed to be getting abuse. I normally don't like humans knowing what we are but something seems different about her and that she seems to be going through the same thing I did years ago during the great depression. I want that girl to have a choice to live that I never had when I was raped but she has that choice to live as a human or die and I hope she chooses right. I hear Carlisle talking to Esme so I see where they are and they stop when I come in the room but I get it is on the girl he is taking care of that has to be tall for her age.

"So is the girl going to make it? And is she pregnant?" I ask.

"She'll live I have no reason to turn into one of us and as for her state I cannot give that out in confidence her family wishes it doesn't get to the media," replies Carlisle. "But do not show yourself to her she will not know how you are and will freak out when she wakes up since from what we were told my Bart and Sofia recently that they isolated her and she will not know how to react to strangers. Should she be grateful that you called the police for her along with the media? Yes but she went through much more than you did that it is a miracle that she is surviving, Not to mention she is rather young so she isn't a good candidate to turn into a vampire if I were to turn her."

"I understand that but I was the one to call the police so I should be able to know how well she is doing and if she is pregnant. You know I won't tell the media if she is or not."

"They also don't want it out of family members and friends and I'm afraid we are neither but other than happening to be in the same area as she is for now. And I'm for now her main doctor."

I storm off but when I can me sneak out to see Susanna but nothing seems off other than not many people have stayed here other than for the custody trial, which were the first few weeks here when the former guardians lost it. If I didn't know her age I would say she is older just because of her height and the pain that when the obsidian Asian eyes are open you can see so it is hard to see this girl going through so much at this age. Her family has been in and out due to work issues and trials and I'm watching the news on the trial but nothing has been set yet.

*Mario's POV*

It has been a long 3 months that Susanna has been in the coma and not only that but Jason or Nathan got her pregnant with twins and they both could have done it but after a week of knowing one miscarried the other stuck. As for the triplet's verdict, we were told that there was not enough evidence which there were plenty of to continue and I have my doubts that they will get her statement when she wakes up. It was sped up since they waived for a preliminary hearing. I really think they paid them off as they have done since they know people in the police business so nothing will happen in that area until an outside police officer takes interest. As for her pregnancy state, her legal guardians then said to keep her pregnancy going and a week later our dad's estate got her but allowed Uncle Jin and Aunt Sun Hee to be her legal guardians it is just that she'll live alone under the supervision of the estate. We don't agree with it since she needs family but I can't afford what she needs without cutting things out and Uncle Jin and Aunt Sun Hee has special issues since they have just as many kids in their house and the noise level could get to Susanna. As for Nonna and Nonno, they said they would only fight if the estate weren't acting in her behalf, which they are, and grandma and grandpa tried to fight but they saw that they couldn't be here for at least half the battles so they had to back out. The estate has left the pregnancy with Uncle Jin and Aunt Sun Hee but it got to the point from debate that in their minds they couldn't go through with the abortion. I'm at work when I'm not at the courthouse or have days off then Sara and I are with Susanna hoping she wakes up.

Whenever I'm there and people are with her they can hear her at times what seems like singing even with the feeding and breathing tube in place but she never fully wakes up. It has been observed that she'll have nightmares that will cause her to shake her whole bodily violently and start to scream and has at time pulled everything off or rather tugged everything out at that time. It is scary to watch her go through that but not knowing when she'll wake up is hard all that we know she is getting better and that the child is growing stronger. We know she'll wake up sometime but when it is everyone guess but we don't want her to go throughout her whole pregnancy in a coma.

When I say the estate is in her best interest other than who is her legal guardian is that, they will be providing her with more stuff than anyone of us could possibly give her. They are looking into a stay at home nurse and a butler for her to help care for her, to get to and from appointments, and everyday life activities, which will be, much harder now and she'll need major help. She'll also be given what we could give an assistant dog which the doctor here says will be good for her after she wakes up for therapy, to give her a balance because of her head and fainting spells, and as she relearns to walk a partner. She'll also have access to the best doctors, therapists, and so forth that we may not be able to afford even with insurance. She'll have her inheritance, will supply her an apartment in Los Angeles which I think it is the penthouse that dad owned but gave to his estate after his death, and give her an allowance to give her mad money as she waits for the rest of her inheritance. It is unlikely that she is going to be able to hold down a job with injury and that this will affect her IQ but we'll end up seeing when she wakes up. So having insurance that she is going to be taken care of her whole life is a good thing it is just hard to do when we aren't there personally.

I have a few days off so I'm in her room but I left Sara with my partner since he has to work and she has school since it is late September and she has been improving though what they want to see to be fully up is her opening her eyes without stimulus. It is good and that means she can hear and it saved her one time from moving too much from the dreams to get everything out of her. Right now she is pointing to something and with the air tube out which has been out for awhile and only the eating tube is in; she is talking about I think her dream. Her eyes hasn't opened yet but the nurses have been entertained by her especially the male nurses. I don't know what she does to the male nurses but the female nurses says she starts to curse at them and if they are close enough to hit them meaning she is thinking they might hurt her. I hope she wakes up soon and I see an eye crack but no one has stimulated her and  
nurse has just came in so she saw it to so this could be good.

*Susanna's POV*

Beeping sounds, people talking outside the hall are annoying me, I wake up very disoriented, and the next thing I see is that I'm in a hospital room. I see a nurse and Mario in the room but what happened to get me here is somewhat a blur but others not. The nurse leaves as I look around and Mario is smiling before coming up to me.

"W-w-what's going on?" I slur out.

"You were in a coma for 3 months," he replies. "You gave us such a scare. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but-t-t who am-m-m I-I-I g-g-going to?"

"Dad's estate won the custody battle but they gave full legal guardianship to Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee Jenkins but you will be under the estate's insurance and so forth. You'll be living with a nurse and a butler in your own apartment which is not far from Uncle Jin and Aunt Sun Hee."

The doctor comes in and I try to move but I'm forced to lie back down because everything is spinning making me put my hand in front of my eyes to see if everything is all right. I've learned that trick after fainting and could easily fool the triplets if I pretend to be disoriented who don't last long normally but I don't know how long this will last. The doctor asks way too many questions that I answer my best but I stutter out or slur out depending on the sounds but he seems content but he continues to stay in after everything.

"Issss every-y-y-th-thing al-al-alright?" I inquire and Mario just lowers his head.

"One of the triplets got you pregnant," inputs Mario. "You miscarried out but one stuck and has been surviving since your former legal guardians didn't want you to have an abortion and the new ones couldn't make a decision until you were passed 12 weeks you are due around March 7, and are 16 weeks pregnant since today is September 25. One test the amniocentesis was done yesterday, he looks fine, and it is a boy. Do you understand anything I'm telling you?"

"They-they go-go-got me-me-me pr-pr-pr-pregnant? Have they-they-they beeeeeeen to tri-tri-trial yet?"

"I'm afraid they won't unless the police come here while you are healing. The judge said there was no substantial evidence to proceed and the private investigator that we hired said they did but saw them paying of a judge and a few police officers so something is going on. I'm not sure what and how we are to fight this but right now we need to get you better and nothing else matters unless this is corrected in the system since no one feels like doing a lawsuit against him or she right now and we are afraid we might lose considering everything. And yes you are pregnant, you aren't dreaming."

"I'mmmm toooo youngggg to-to-to have a ch-ch-child. I'mmmm onlyyyyy 12 yearssss o-o-old."

"I know and your legal guardians when I call will be here as soon as they can to help you make a decision but it is secondary to get you better and have the child be healthy."

I nod my head and both of them leave but Mario comes in after an hour since he was calling people. I stay in the hospital for a few months learning to walk, use my limbs, and get coordination again as much as it is painful but it is helping. Over the stay I got a butler named Marcus Pagani and a nurse named Jasmine Narang. I love them very much but with Marcus I got to pick him personally so I would feel more at ease with him and Jasmine was picked due to her meeting the criteria to be my nurse and as long as they weren't male I didn't want to pick them personally but I would like to meet them personally. Also with the pregnancy at 21 weeks when I just found an adoptive couple and partnered up with them I, had a still born which was very devastating to everyone involved? The little boy was first and middle names were granted by the adoptive couple since I didn't come up with a name was Angelo Jackson Rizzo. I am released before Thanksgiving to go to LA where I get a part rough collie part golden retriever mix named Rex for an assistant dog that is golden on top and has white socks and belly. He is cute and helps me any anyway possible. I don't go to school that year since it is get me better before adding it on and since Leo and his family live in LA because of his dad's job as a scientist at UCLA and he runs and operates Cafe Angelica as a side project. The next following years I go to school at Newman's Academy even if now I'm a year behind because of health related issues but the trauma didn't affect my brain I still have over 180 for an IQ and have a full scholarship to Newman's Academy, which Leo does go to.

* * *

AN: *You usually call her grandma in Korean and it is a rough translation from Google translate of my phone after it


	3. A High School Freshman A Year Late

A High School Freshman A Year Late

_Dear Diary, I'm sick like really sick and I'm to be starting high school in 3 count them 3 days all due to me pushing myself to get my band's first album done recording wise. God, I work myself too hard and everyone realizes it but it takes my brain off of things that happened in my past. I know that I should have free time and I'm working on it but I'm still not better even with therapy to get help therefore I can't have that free time if I'm going to look back on my childhood. It has almost been 3 years since I came here and I still haven't healed yet. Do you know whom I spend my time with? It is either my band or my family that live here so I'm not alone even if I have a butler and a nurse but with them I just feel alone since they aren't truly my family. Sure, they feel like family to me but I know they aren't family and if they knew about what I write in the diary about what I feel is family it would hurt their feelings. Well I have to get to sleep before Marcus yells has at me to sleep more instead of being up. ~Susanna Young Mi Rizzo_

"Susanna, Uncle Jin Sang will be here shortly," states Marcus as he shakes me to get me up.

"Five more minutes please, my head is bothering me," I reply since in reality I'm getting over a sickness and this is probably a wellness check to make sure I can go to school tomorrow my 1st day of high school though I'm 15 years old and will be 16 in late October. "He is probably coming over to check up on my health and then leave so I don't need to fully get up."

"I'm not sure about that, Mistress Rizzo, now get up."

"Fine, I'm up."

"It doesn't look like it and I told you and will tell you this again, go to bed at a decent hour so I can get you up especially when you're sick."

"Idiota," I state in Italian. "Voglio di piu sonno!" (translation: Idiot, I want more sleep!)

"Lo so, ma lo Zio Jin Sang sara qui in meno di mezz'ora, Padrona Rizzo. Hai bisgono di alzari e io ti constringono a salire, se non si alzano presto." (Translation: I know but Uncle Jin Sang will be here in less than a half an hour, Mistress Rizzo. You need to get up and I'll force you to get up if you don't get up soon.)

"Va bene, hal vinto, Marcus, mi svegliero. E lo Zio Jin Sang partando qualcuno con lui?" (Translation: All right, you win, Marcus, I'll wake up. Is Uncle Jin Sang bringing anyone with him?)

"Non che io sappia, Padrona. Vado a prendere la vostra colazione pronta. Uova straoazzate e te va bene?" (Translation: Not that I'm aware of, Mistress. I'll go and get your breakfast ready. Scramble eggs and tea all right?)

"Si, il te al lampone ma invece di te earl grey che state facendo da quando era malato." (Translation: Yes, raspberry tea though instead of earl grey tea you've been making since I was sick."

"Come vuoi." (Translation: As you wish.)

He leaves and I sit up but at least my head isn't spinning so I grab black skinny jeans and a red t-shirt before going into my bathroom to get changed. I get changed and put some dry shampoo on my hair after I wetted it down to get a pick through my insanely black curly hair since there is no way I can get a shower in less than a half an hour. My band could get away with it but I can't since my hair needs to be properly wash and it goes down to mid-back. I just slip on slippers that Leo bought for me around Christmas but even in the summer heat in LA when I'm sick I'm cold and I can't feel the heat all that well. They are great slippers mostly being black with a red skull on them even if Marcus didn't know why he bought them for me other than I falling in love with them when I first saw them but didn't get. By the time I'm out my breakfast is ready so I eat it before Uncle Jin Sang comes in to the penthouse.

"Susanna, how are you feeling this morning?" he asks.

"Better, I'm not as dizzy or feel as sick as I was," I reply. "Though, you could have come at a later time so I could have slept in some this morning."

"I know but I have to get to RCA records after I talk with you and it will be a long day so I had to come at this time. So you think you are up to going to school tomorrow?"

"Yes, I do."

"She'll be all better by tomorrow, Mr. Greenberg," inputs Jasmine. "It wasn't much just the flu and over working herself but that just lasts for 3 days anyways and she seems on the mend."

"That's excellent to hear which is my main reason I'm here to see but I was wondering if you could come to our house for dinner tomorrow after school. It won't be anything much just family but it is your first day as a freshman in high school not to mention you have been working your ass off since The Rose Angels was signed to Spirit Records for your first album. You are about done with it right?"

"Yes, all the main vocals are done and were done before I got sick but we on to the background vocals which is the only thing that need to be done for the last song. It won't take that long to record but it needs to get created so we can hear it and then send it off."

"I'm very aware of the process so you'll come?"

"Count me in; do you need me to bring anything?"

"No, you don't need to bring anything now I'll be off and I'll see you tomorrow after school."

He leaves and I just shake my head realizing I could have came out in pajamas but the way Marcus was playing it I thought it was more important than this. Marcus doesn't say a thing but continues to clean which he seems to be always doing since unless I'm sick I don't need help dressing and I like to keep it that way. I finish my breakfast and head to my room to get shoes on since I feel like getting out for awhile even if Jasmine and Marcus will object to but right now I need fresh air and I'm not planning to go far just the park across the street. It is just a pair of black converse shoes since I'm rather tall (almost 5'10") and I don't do well in heals.

"Where are you going?" asks Marcus.

"To the park across the street," I reply. "I need fresh air but I will probably be back in an hour so you don't need to go with me plus I'll have Rex and my shelties with me."

"Ok, but call if you need anything."

I get my dogs leaving my 2 cats here since they are inside cats. I head to the park but this is a walk for all them since I didn't put Rex's uniform on to say he is on duty not that he isn't on duty on the time. He is Marcus's extra eyes on me though he can't speak but Rex knows when I need a break and so forth making him a good part of the family. Princess and Star (my shelties) are merely pets and as much as they know, what is going their height makes them not good for me to use as an assistant dogs and the same way with my 2 tabby cats. The park isn't busy right now, which is one of the reasons I'm walking my dogs alone otherwise I would have Marcus with me.

"Miss Rizzo," I person states behind me so I look to see the bell boy from my apartment, "Do you need help with them?"

"No, I'm good but thanks for asking and I would rather be alone right now," I reply.

"No problem, I got to get back before my boss yells at me."

He leaves and I finish the hour walk around the park so when I'm back in my apartment I try to relax some but usually me and relaxing don't mix well. So after awhile I end up in the office/den to work on a few things as an opening act over the summer that will go into schooling next year so I have to start thinking on it but maybe not as soon as I did. Marcus fined me at lunch time here and he just has to sigh knowing that I didn't take the break as I need.

"You need time to yourself and no one else," he starts.

"I know but things need to get done so let me at least get them started then I can relax," I reply. "Besides it has to deal with my schooling for my 10th grade year and it needs to be looked at because of the tour. I'm not going to work on it all day I just need to look over a few things."

"You just got over a sickness because you worked yourself to the bone and I don't want that to happen again so soon and you need to learn to take time to yourself than to make music and doing things for the band. I know you can't relax without thinking of them and what they did but sometime away from all of this will do you good. What about your boyfriend Eric or your friends could you hang out with them?"

"Eric is ignoring all summer no matter how many times I contact him or I gave him time to think on what went on in my childhood because he demanded to know. As for my friends I've seen them all summer and they think I'm sick so they don't want to bother me until I get totally better so what else is there to do?"

"That would make sense why I haven't seen Eric all summer or you saying you were going to hang out or have a date with him but I don't think he needed all summer to get used to what you went through. Could you call your friends to see if they can hang out with you or something so they know you are feeling better? I mean it would get you of the house and you wouldn't have to think about work or you could go out with your band to do something with them that isn't band related. They've been over while you were sick to see how you were and Leo has been over but you haven't been with him much alone since you started to date Eric maybe that is a possibility."

"Leo, but Eric will be thinking I'm cheating on him if I spend all day alone with Leo and he has already accused me of that. Though I think this ignoring period is more than what it appears on the surface but I'm not sure what. I will have no qualms about it but I'm not sure how his parents will react with this being a sudden invitation to hang out unless I go over there for the afternoon. But I'll give him a call after lunch."

"Things you do for love but I'm sure he'll like seeing you again alone."

I smile at that and I just want a sandwich for lunch which I can easily make for myself and don't need Marcus to make it. I do eat my lunch with a glass of milk plus chips as Jasmine and Marcus get their lunch, which is from yesterday's leftovers that they had since I had none. Chicken soup and earl grey tea for a few days for every meal can get to me so I didn't want it today and that their leftovers right now doesn't look good to me anyways. I finish eating and get the phone to call his parents but they say that he can come over but just give them time because of his younger triplets. For most of the afternoon we hang out which is a nice thing to do but I really need to talk to Eric to see what is going on and if needed break up.

"Leo, have you seen Eric at all this summer?" I ask.

"No and I take it he hasn't contacted you all summer has he?" replies Leo. "You may as well breakup with that loser, he did try to control you once and he will try again. From what you told him, you were right to give him space but he wouldn't need this much space unless he is either cheating or trying to control you and it might be both. But you'll see him tomorrow at school so you can talk to him them and make your decision. But at least you are better than you were yesterday."

"Thanks Leo."

"Oh and my cousin that goes to our school just got signed to Spirit Records."

"So Timoteo "Little Tim" Costanzo Jr. got signed. He has been bragging in class that Spirit Records will sign his band up once they got the demo CD. Oddly he always brings it up when I'm around since we are in the same classes but I don't go bragging that I'm going to get signed or I am signed since when my band got signed we were still forming the band. No one was thinking demons and I think we just got our drummer and we were doing a show because of a request from the club's owner who even said that record labels visit it often for new talent since the club heard we were new and just formed. I didn't figure on trying to get signed until we were settled in and got some local fans but the company executives wanted us there and then not to mention we were the first signed since it just started shortly before we were signed. I guess it was good timing for us or not but I'm not knocking our opportunity I just don't want to brag about it."

"You and Tim have different personalities and your band members have already graduated and your cousins gave you two that were in their makeshift garage band before they went to Korea and signed with SM Entertainment as did your sister. But he does have a crush on you and that is the main reason he is bragging about it to you as much as he is a philanderer and he goes through girls in no time but I think he just likes the chase with you. Then again I don't know any guy in the school who doesn't have a crush on you because of your hourglass body and hard to get personality even if it is resulted from being abused as a child."

"I see, so do you have a crush on me?"

"Come on you are my friend; I would never think of you in your light," defends Leo.

"I didn't mean to get defensive about it," I reply sighing. "I was just curious because I might have a crush on you but since you aren't really answering it I'm not going to tell you."

"I deserved that one to be honest with you. So are you having dinner tomorrow alone?"

"No, I'm having dinner with Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee. I will probably having dinner alone the rest of the nights though unless they tell me differently but I'll cross that bridge when I get there."

"As normal but I was just asking and I'm sure you busy this weekend since you have at least one more song to finish up. I don't want you to over work yourself that made you get sick this time and you know you already have a weakened immune system because of several factors especially your head. I guess I should get going since mom will be coming soon since dinner will be done soon."

"Thanks for coming over, Leo, and we only have a few more to do but not much so I shouldn't work myself sick this time."

"Let's hope not, I'll see you in school."

He kisses my forehead, leaves, and I really wish it was on my lips but it never is unless neither one of us are in a relationship then our friendship boarders on a full blown relationship that it is confusing. He broke up with this girl he was dating but she was wary of me, which I didn't blame her considering how friendship can go. Also, I'm not trying to deny my feelings for Leo but it is easier to let this play out than forcing my feelings on him and I think he is denying it. The evening goes well enough since I just get my backpack ready for tomorrow and making sure things are in order while I'm at school so Marcus and Jasmine to have to work to hard while I'm at school.

The next morning I get up at 6 to get ready for school and I grab the mid thigh chocolate brown skirt, a matching jacket, a white button down shirt, the red tie mandated for everyone to wear, and sheer black pantyhose that will go with a pair of 2 inch healed black shoes. I slick my very curly hair into a pony tail since it does keep my hair away from my face and I really don't feel like putting a head band in it. If I had the time in the morning during school, I would take a shower but not it is in the evening unless I wait until the weekend but I just washed my hair not too long ago and I go normally every 3 days without showering and just use dry shampoo because my hair is rather dry. I mean it is not too dry but I need a good bit of time before I shower next to make sure it is healthy and so my hair stylist doesn't yell at me like she did when I was 13 and just got here. How was I supposed to know my hair doesn't get washed everyday when I was a kid since my dad died? He was the one to take care of it and I know during showers he'll at least wet it down and put conditioner in it. I do put conditioner in more often than cleaning it to help with the dryness.

I get out of my room fully clothed to see that Marcus has made breakfast and am doing up the cooking dishes making his back turned to the counter I eat on for majority of my meals since he is doing something. The smell of blueberry pancakes is overwhelming and it looks like he made fresh blueberry syrup to go with the pancakes since I know we bought a lot of blueberries awhile ago and they need to be eaten so it was a good use for them. As I'm buttering my pancakes, Marcus turns around and smiles at me.

"I see you made blueberry syrup from the left over blueberries," I state. "And the breakfast is delicious."

"At least you eat it, Jasmine just wanted coffee and bread and I will eat my part later. A good breakfast is important of the day and at least you won't be starving before lunch time comes around. And since your school starts at 8 and it is only 6:30 you'll have at least a half an hour to get ready since it takes 20 minutes to get to the place. Mistress Susanna, am I to pick you up right after school is over or wait a bit before coming and picking you up?"

"Do your best judgment since we'll be waiting for each other and I'm sure my friends will want to talk to me about the summer and how my album is coming along. Not to mention complaining about Little Tim getting a record deal and how he'll use it to pick up girls. It's bad enough when he has his band but now they are signed it is going to be bad and we are in every single class since he is almost a year younger than I am. Though I'm sure he is just taking the belly dancing class just for the girl's part and not actually dancing."

"Will do but I'll probably be waiting for you when you are done so you don't need to call. And be clear with Eric today when you talk to him and not get lost in his eyes not that I think you would but he should not be ignoring you like this."

"Don't worry about it, I never have like the other girls and I only dated him because it seemed we had something in common well a lot of things in common really. He has tried to control me early in the relationship and demanded that I tell him so I'm afraid he'll try to control me again and this time much worse. If I have to I will break up with him I will but I need answers before I make that decision."

"Understandable"

I finish my breakfast and for the half an hour I make sure Rex's uniform is out and ready to put on right before leaving but Marcus eats his breakfast before leaving. Jasmine only comes out to wish me luck but I can see that she caught my cold while taking care of me to get better when I got sick. When we get to the school, I see Eric talking to his friends loudly and I really hope I can get a word in edge wise with him but I get out of the car and head up to him with as usual Rex Right beside me. His friends scatter one of them shaking his head so I turn to him and he just smirks.

"You look a lot better," he states. "Feel better instead of being sick?"

"Yes, I'm better but we need to talk. Why were you ignoring me all summer long? I thought I made time for you from making my album," I reply.

"I know you did and I'm sorry for ignoring you all summer. I needed a lot of time to get used to the idea of you being abused as a child but I really don't blame you for keeping it to yourself and not in the media. But I need to make sure you don't..."

"Eric, you aren't to control me and you never saw me through this thing so don't even attempt to say that I shouldn't see Leo he has saw everything that I went through, not you. And because of what I went through, I do not like to be controlled especially since it starts the abuse in most instances and I don't want to go through that again. Am I making this clear for you?"

"Yes, but I have to control you so I know you won't get hurt by anyone so you are to be mine and no one else."

"Eric, I don't want to be with you and I already gave you a warning if you tried to control me again. I'm sorry we're through."

"No were not, bitch, do you understand that me dating you means I'm even more popular now because of you. We are still dating and I will control you and if you have plans with family tonight forget it."

"We ARE THROUGH, Eric!" I yell. "I don't want to be abused again and you are being unreasonable and I didn't tell you earlier because I thought it would scare you away not do this to you."

I turn on my heals and he grabs my arms before slapping my face hard and then saying, "Fine but note you will never get a guy better than me and you will crawl back."

He leaves in a huff and I just rub my cheek where he slapped and Leo, Little Tim, and Milana, who drives Leo and Tim and my friend despite being 2 years older. Leo runs over to me before the others and I'm sure he knows what happened. The other two come over and Tim smirks at me while Milana takes my hand away from my face but it just stings so I know there is no bruise on it so there is nothing to worry about. It certainly caused a scene since everyone is looking in my directions and whispering to each other but I didn't mean to make him made but he didn't want to realize that we are over, damn Eric. I'm half aware of Milana asking me something but Leo was the one that brings me out of my thoughts.

"Milana, she most likely broke up with him causing the slap," replies Leo. "We talked yesterday and wanted answers as to why he was ignoring her and she didn't know if she wanted to end the relationship."

"That would make sense and Susanna, are you alright?" asks Milana.

"Yes, sorry for worrying you guys, I just wasn't expecting it but I was afraid when he started to control me something might happen," I reply and Leo gives me a look saying I should tell them but I never do. "At least I got out of it before it did become abusive."

"It's alright and Tim, head in side before I smack you so hard that it comes off, she just broke up with him and I won't let you have Susanna like that."

Tim leaves saying curse words and Leo sighs.

"Milana, I can take care of Sue, there is no need for all of us to stay outside," inputs Leo.

"No, there is something more you two have been keeping a secret from me and if Tim new he'll use it in a bad way," she replies.

"Exactly what are you talking about? My childhood?" I inquire.

"Yes, I mean not many people know right off the bat controlling will lead to abuse even if you two are incredibly smart," answers Milana.

"I don't feel like talking about it here. Too many people and it might get leaked to the media which is why only certain people know and others don't and I don't want Tim to hear this since I don't know what he'll do with it."

"Do you not trust me with this information? Sue, we are friends and you have more friends' do they even know? I won't leave you as Eric did but something has never added up with you especially why you have to have a dog and at points, you don't like to be touched. If I had to guess, you were abused as a child and you aren't over it yet not like you ever will but unless you tell me I can't help you. I understand you and Leo have this bond from the angels you are host to since Leo told me when he was a child but this is different."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Milana, but you'll tell your family and that will lead to Tim knowing and I don't know what he'll do with it. Will he get girls with this information? Try and get to me when I have no interest in whatsoever? Tell the media? I don't trust him since he is such a player."

"You do bring up excellent points but I won't tell them and Tim being the little snoop he is said he already knows but doesn't want you to know. If this is too public for you then I can stop by your apartment after school but I want to know."

"Fine and we'll talk after school."

"Thank you."

We get inside and I drop off my bag in my locker before Tim comes up behind me and he just looks at me with his right eye.

"So we are label mates," he states. "Aren't you going to congratulate me?"

"Yes, congratulations to you and Local Wonders, now what do you want?" I reply knowing him he wants something more.

"A date this Friday, I have two tickets to a play this Friday. You are the hottest girl in the entire school and it will put your mind away from Eric and I will not take no for an answer."

"You have nothing to blackmail me with so, you will have to settle with a no because I would rather go out with Leo than you. I don't want to be one of your girls that you sleep with and never call again so you can ask someone else."

"I may not have anything that you know I can blackmail you with but I know more than you want to know and I will use it since I'm sure you don't want your deepest darkest secret leaked out into the world where it cannot be controlled. So I suggest you take it if you don't want it leaked out."

"I'd like to know when you found out and what it is."

"During the summer before I called off my friendship with Eric and he said everything you told him so I know I don't need to go one further. But he should have known better to force it out of you and let you lead it because you could judge his character and knowing what he'll do before telling him. Don't worry I'll let you date Leo but I just want one date with you since we'll be seeing more of each other since we are label mates. So if you say no I will release the information so I suggest you think carefully of your answer and I look for it by the end of school."

He leaves and I slam my locker as my blood boils since I don't want him to know and he is a pig. I get to my first class, my other friends are there, and they just ask if it is true that I broke up with Eric, which I just say yes and give my reason. They don't press much more into and they normally don't press more into my life since they always have to study or too involved with love, which I would rather not be involved with. The teacher comes in and the bell rings so we start school, which she just hands out papers that need to be signed by our legal guardians but starts right away, into what we are to learn but at least Leo is beside me and he hands me a note.

_What did Tim want with you? I saw him talking to you at the locker and I don't think it was good._

So I reply.

_He wants a date with me this weekend because he has two tickets to a play apparently and I don't want to go out with him but you. I want to say now but he said he won't take a now and that he has something that I don't want to in the media since he heard it from Eric. I didn't even know those two were friends or were since he said he quite his friendship with him so hopefully this is only between very few people. I don't trust Tim for some reason or another with all of the attention on him so I feel like I have to go to keep it quiet so I don't have much choice other than saying yes. Leo, please talk him out of this?_

I hand it back and I receive another.

_I'll try but other than being a man-whore he is nice so he might be worried for you which is why the date even if he has a crush on you and you have a crush on me. Yeah, I kind of figured that out and I would like to hang next Friday if it is possible but I'll understand if you are busy._

I smile at that since I would love to hang out with Leo all that I can and hopefully go out on a date with him but that would cause more problems. Plus when I got the note; my heart skips several beats as I write back a reply.

_Thank you :) and I would love to do something with you next Friday._

It ends at that and I continue to pay attention not as I need it because of the angel since from her I know all this stuff so I'm rather bored. Over lunch I see Leo talking to Tim but I really hope this gets somewhere I eat with my other friends and they try to partner me up with males and I keep turning that down. I really want to sort out my feelings with Leo before I date again so I'm going to hold off on dating then but with Leo and I both single I just want to contain my feelings for him than jumping him every time he is here. The day goes well even if he and a few of the guys were at the back of the belly dancing class looking at the girls and I feel a few eyes particularly on me and I think one is Tim's eyes on me. The day ends with the piano class, which is thankfully a one on one class with teachers but only one being the head so after the initial meeting we went to different practice rooms.

"Seriously," I state. "You had to wait beside my locker."

"My teacher let me out early unlike yours but then again you had a harder piece that you were pouring yourself into," he replies.

"Whatever, just make this quick so I can leave and not be associated with you."

"I'm waiting for my answer and I'll be out of your hair. Trust me this will only be a onetime thing anyways, Leo will kill me if I continue to date you plus as much I may have a crush on you I have my limits on who I date and fuck. My cousin's love is one of those limits."

"You need more limits before you become a father but if you want your answer, yes I will only to keep this quiet."

"Thank you, and trust me this will make Leo hot for you if he doesn't realize what he has in front of his eyes then I might have to make him more jealous."

"Is this all what it is about?"

"Yes, he has an awful time denying his feelings towards you while you don't deny it so think of it as helping you two out. Then again, this morning might have been just enough unless you asked him to talk to me, which I think that is a good possibility. But anyways I'll pick you up at 4 for dinner and then we'll be going to the play."

He leaves coolly and I get my stuff to go with Marcus. I just tell him Milana will be coming over later and that we'll be talking for awhile so don't expect me to work on homework until after we get back after dinner. And it is just having Dr. Jin Sang sign the papers to hand in tomorrow or whenever we will see the teachers next since I won't see the belly dance teacher until Wednesday and my piano teacher until next week. The instrument lessons happens once a week with either that spare taking up more instruments or practice but my counselor has put me on almost everyone I need for band and then some. Before the instruments, I have Spanish class since I can already fluently speak Italian and Korean so I wanted something different and can use in here. Those are all after lunch before lunch in order I have English, History, Math, and Science in the most generalized term. My counselor though doesn't want to keep me in Spanish since I could go all over the world so most likely next year I will have another language that they offer besides Spanish and the ones I know because of family since the do offer it are French, Portuguese, Chinese, Japanese, Latin, Greek, German, and sign language. It seems most of the science people tale Latin and Greek for terminology and the rest pick and choose since the school compiled this language to help in the world if they were to go to work at other places or they are normally put in the majority of schools like the Romance languages and German. As for musical lessons I'm taking other than piano are vocals, guitar, and bass and Friday is writing music.

He asks a few things about the first day so I end up telling him about Tim trying to blackmail me, which seemed to work and breaking up with Eric. Let's just say he was not too surprised at either but quickly warns me that Tim is not a good choice so it will be only one date and if he tries to black mail me into a date to tell him before saying yes and he'll teach him a lesson. Once back at the apartment, I get things ready so my uncle can sign when Milana comes in and we go into the living room. I know she wants to know but there was no way I was going to tell her at school with media attention everywhere and everyone in the school listening in to as well.

"Sorry about this morning," I start.

"It's no big deal," she replies. "I just want to do know what has happened since it is like a tight secret and so I can get to Tim before he gets to you. Then again, if he has I'll talk to him long and hard about what he is putting not only through but Leo as well. God, he is such a man whore and he would seriously try for you if he knew you and Leo had a thing for each other so he just wants to get under Leo's skin and the fact he might already knows and black mail you with it for a date is beyond disgusting."

"He already did that and he knows since I had to tell Eric and since I didn't know Eric and he were friends since I'm supposed to be Eric's age since he forced me to tell him. I really shouldn't have told Eric due to the face he blabbed it to everyone he was friends with so I have no clue who knows it now."

"God, that is not good but I'd like to know what you went through."

"Of course"

I take in a deep breath and tell her what went on in my child since my dad which I hate telling and I would like to know who knows so I know it can't go to the media. I know it might be paranoia on my part but I don't even like telling it to magazines or these interviews for television or radio that I sometimes because I'm not ready yet which is one reason I don't want a lot of people who will blab to the media to know. She has her head bowed through the whole thing as if she is sad that this happened but I could be taking it the wrong way with her. I just know by the end as always I'm crying though not as bad as it was when I just got out of it but still if I'm crying from it still there is no way that the media will know fully what happened. I have planned only when asked to either deny or accept the rumors going around if a person asks but no one really has asked me if the rumors where true.

"Wow, I'm sorry that you had to go through that," she states after I'm done and wiping tears away. "It's not something that anyone has to go through but some are put through it and you are one of them. Is there anything I can...?"

"No, it's just hard on me but I don't need anything from you other than not telling the press about this because they will question me about once they get wind of it. I'm not in the shape despite being 3 years later from being taken away from it to tell them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell the press but it is still fresh in my mind to this day and I am working on it by going to therapy every week."

"I see and I agree if the press knew when it is still fresh in your mind it is not going to be good for you so keeping it so who knows small is a good thing. I promise I won't tell the media or anyone I know other than trying to talk to Tim but our cousin is probably talking him more into making Leo jealous that he isn't your boyfriend. God I hate Henry and he is worse than Tim is when it comes to girls even if he just wants a boy but he carries that not the girls in their DNA and he won't listen to any one. Tim just want laid but doesn't want children. Anyways back on topic, if you need to talk on this subject please don't hesitate to call me since I think for that long you suffered enough and I don't want to say if you have any mental issues that has arisen from it."

"Thanks, I will if I need to and thank you for not prying into much deeper. I know I'm not the only one to go through this hell but sometimes it seems like it and music has become my drug to get over it and it is better than be bottled up. The shit will hit the fans when I release the CD and I'll deal with it then but not before, unless hopefully they'll think it is just ex boyfriends even if it will label me as a slut since we aren't going to dark into this CD since it is our first and we hardly have a fan base. It is just our family and friends for now and possibly the people at that club we played at that got us the gig before anyone of us was contemplating a record deal."

"Correct, but I look forward to the CD and I'll tell people about and hopefully Spirit Records does a good job at promoting it since both of you are new at this. Now I have to get going and pick up groceries for my family since they are working their butts off. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

Milana leaves and the rest of the evening goes well and I have things for the next day ready and I will have a pile of papers for him over the weekend to turn into the correct teacher. The week goes well, Tim is very much hounding me since inviting me to the show making it very annoying, and I can hear the school gossiping about us. Why must Tim do this to make Leo jealous just to teach him a lesson since I don't see this helping much other than making me annoyed? Leo seems rather unshaped when I told him and just said he figured he might do this but that doesn't mean he isn't ignoring his feelings for me and that the rumors will just make everything worse. At least Leo seems to be taking this in stride and not get involved with this petty thing that Tim is doing to get him and most likely will annoy Tim that this isn't affecting him at all. Also Tim has been calling a pet name that is Teddy Bear and I don't particularly enjoy it so I try to get him to stop calling me that but nothing works so I have to live through it for now.

* * *

AN: I will not always put other languages in the story but will mark it by the thing being said and in the very beginning of the conversation in that selected language if nothing is noted then assume it is English. If I do put another language other than English it will be Italian or Spanish and if needed the translation unless noted will be from either , Google translate app on my phone, or I know it from taking Spanish Class in high school and college. Do not expect to see Korean and I will only use the Romanization of the figures IE Susanna's and her full sibling's middle names. Any Korean words deemed necessary I will not translate but will most likely have the translation in the AN section and if it was googled search. Like in my previous chapter with grandma in Korean, that was only a rough translation.


	4. The Dates And Turning Into An Angel

The Dates and Turning into an Angel

_Dear Diary, I hope Tim doesn't go to overboard for our "date" tonight which I would rather be hanging out with friends or better yet on a date with Leo, which is next week or at least I'm taking it as a date ;). I don't care for Tim since is a philandering pig and I know even with me he will not stop his ways and he has been through God knows how many girls since he started his band and that he is signed it will just get worse. Why or why must he be my label mate as well, Fueled by Ramen could take him and his band in heart beat so I don't have to be in the same label as him. Then again, he could see how hard of work this is and not as brag as much but I have my serious doubts about that. If I have to chew him on the date tomorrow so be it and I will be thinking about my date with Leo next week. I think I'm a little or a lot Leo crazy but I can't help it, he is so handsome and down to earth and will never spill my secrets plus his angel is engaged to me, considering now I'm pretty much all angel minus the full meld due to near death situations that she had to take over with. If I was in my human form, I would have died when I was 4 but I need to get bed so I'll write in you later ~Susanna Young Mi Rizzo_

The Friday that I have to go out with Tim comes way too fast and I don't want to be in school but only a few girls look at me before talking in their groups so it seems it has settled down. I get to my locker and put my books that I don't need away and what I need to next class in my hands before I see Tim leaning on the next locker of in my peripheral vision with his books ready. God this is going to be a long day if he is going to be escorting me to every single class, which will start more rumors than anything else will.

"Must you be at my locker? I know we have plans this evening but this will just add fuel to the fire for the gossip around here," I start. "Besides I'm not into you whatsoever so don't get your hopes up."

"Don't worry I won't but we have more pressing matters as I should say. I need advice from you so this isn't about us dating and you are the only one I know who has a child and still goes to high school," replies Tim.

"I don't know what you heard but I had a still born and he was to be given to an adoptive family so even if he lived I wouldn't have raised him. Just talk to the girl that you got pregnant and come to some conclusion but you are only 15 so I have my doubts that this girl is much older than you are. Do what you guys feel is right for this since I have a feeling you were going to say someone is pregnant by you and you want my advice."

"It isn't about me, I haven't gotten a girl pregnant since I'm not dumb enough not to use protection but a female friend did. I just want to know how to support her, she is arguing with her baby daddy over this, and she wants to continue school and so forth. I thought you had experience I wasn't aware that he had died then again that source was very sketchy and not it wasn't Leo but I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thanks, and I don't have much advice other than they both need get on the same page and if she has support she can still go to school. Now I'm going to class."

We get to our classes and the day goes fine but Leo keeps looking at Tim for a reason so I end up asking who this friend is of his that he asked me off if Leo knew. He had no clue that this person is but thinks it has to deal with him and just making up stories. I leave it at that and concentrate the rest of the day on what I need to do for school and that hour I have to practice I just do my homework so I won't have to worry all weekend since all the practice stations I need are full. The teacher is working at his desk but will occasionally look up at me from what I can tell while doing my homework, which it isn't much for me so it doesn't take the full time so I end up doing stuff for my band. When the bell rings I put things away and my backpack is light, which it never is but at least I can carry it instead of wheeling it behind me. Before I go, Tim shows up again and I roll my eyes but he grabs my left arm before letting me have it back.

"Did you draw on your arm?" he asks.

"It's just notes in Korean what I need to get ready for today and a few band stuff," I reply. "Don't worry they will be off by the time we have to meet up."

He smiles at that and I get home to write down what I need to and finally get ready. I take a quick shower to get the ink off of me and so my hair is manageable to be put into something than having it down or in a pony tail since it is a play and from what I can understand, we are going to an upscale restaurant. Having my hair in a half up half down do as I get in a raspberry color on shoulder ruffled cocktail dress with black ballet flats since I don't want to be in heels and I just do simple make since I don't have much time after everything else. I make sure Rex is in his assistant dog vest before the door bell rings meaning they are coming up or at least Tim is but I don't know who is driving their driver, a family member or us. When he comes up he has on a black suit with a red tie so we end up leaving to head to the restaurant and to see _My Fair Lady_.

"You look gorgeous," he states once in the high end restaurant. "I couldn't take any girls I normally date to _My Fair Lady_ or here because they don't have the class to come here. You on the other hand do plus this will get your mind off of everything for awhile."

"Thank you and you look handsome," I reply blushing.

"Have you been to plays since you got here?"

"Once in a blue moon really, I'm the one to make the decision with money therefore I don't go unless I know a play will be here that I will like plus I was hoping to see _The Phantom of the Opera_ one time when it comes here. I just haven't gotten the time yet to go between the band and school and then someone needs to go with me incase my head decides it has had enough and we need to get out of the play early. It hasn't happened yet but we are all scared it might happen. Do you go to plays regularly?"

"Often, my dad gets these tickets and depending on how many he gets he will either takes the whole family, my parents have a date night, or they give the tickets to Milana and me. But they aren't weekly things maybe once a month but we do these often by taking time out of our schedule. I understand that for me it will dwindle especially when I'm on tour but when I'm back with my family I'm going to go as often as I want. Plus my parents raved when your dad's films or plays came out that he was producing so I thought with as much as he was in the business you would be going to them more than normal along with red carpet events which you do go to it seems."

"Mario and his partner go to plays about every week but Mario is also working in the NYC branch of my dad's estate to keep the producing and directing going so he needs to see plays regularly to see how they are produced and keep up with the times. I don't have to, I'm the estate's ward and they don't put that restriction on me so I go when I know I can meaning it is rarity and as for the red carpet I get invited to attend award shows and so forth. One time, I went they were honoring my dad and the whole family went and it was a good thing to see and Mario made the speech."

"You get invited to attend the parties or award shows?"

"Yes, I will either say yes or no depending on the time, day, and so forth not to mention they pay the estate for my appearance fee that they regulate and I just know it goes into my bank account every 1st of the month if I go to a party or something. In reality, it is quick cash and everyone in my family get invitations and depending who is in a managerial position for it will help with the money take out their cut and give the rest to us. Far as I know, I was the least amount in the family but I end up using it as money for essentials along with the royalties I have been receiving from my dad's estate. But I'm sure after my band's debut it will raise up for appearance fees and so forth but maybe not immediately."

"Should I expect something like this?"

"According to my manager for the band he said to expect it just not immediately with you I would say start to expect invitations to events but minimal appearance fees until you really make it big. But your manager should have gone over with this with your band since they would be expecting it unless you guys glossed over it wanting to get to the good stuff. I'm sorry but I had to let the manager tell the rest of the band I'm in about them so they would be aware even if I were to a degree. The major thing is the higher the price is the more in demand you are from what I was told but I could be totally wrong there so you may not want to take my word for it. And to be honest I would rather have the appearance fee just be enough to cover travel expenses and lodging and not regulated by the estate and I told them that but they don't listen very well."

"Ok, so what is the majority of the appearances you do?"

"I go to schools, colleges, shelters and places like that since they are always looking for people to give their stories on abuse and so forth. I will whole heartily take it and before they tell them the price, I do say that they probably just will be able to pay for travel and lodging since I don't want to take money away from the people that need it. I have my money and they need theirs even if they are aware of the price and may have saved up for it. Last year, a shelter booked me for a Saturday gig only a few minutes' drive my apartment and I told them not to send a bill since one I ride my bike there every day when I just want to get alone. So they were surprised that I gave them a free visit and they knew how much the estate has me for. They were more than thankful to use that money to the women, men, and children that walk through their doors since they run on donations and it is run by a local church. I gave my speech and they were even surprised that I stayed for a free meal afterwards before heading back to my apartment. Now if this is nothing to do with abuse and sexual assault like a party not run by my family member I do expect the full appearance fee to be paid."

"You are probably the only person I know in the whole world that would base any appearance fee according to what they want you for so. Say if a radio show just wanted you to come in and talk or host you would expect the full payment compared to a domestic violence shelter where it would be free either if it is in Los Angeles or cover the cost of travel and lodging anywhere else. I don't think any other celebrity would do that and you do remember because of your dad and the hell you went through as a kid did put you in celebrity status."

"I'm highly aware of it."

We talk throughout dinner but it helps me to get to know him better since we never really hang out unless I'm hanging out with Milana or Leo but I still think he is a man-whore. Oddly enough, he did admit that he is a man-whore himself so at least he isn't denying it so it just lightens up the night. In fact the evening was quite relaxing instead of me working on something for the band instead of relaxing like this and taking in a show that I wanted to see but wasn't aware it was in town. He gets me home safely and tries to kiss me but I back away from it making him kiss my head before leaving and I get back into my apartment only to see Marcus up working on something on the stove.

"You didn't need to wait up for me," I start. "I would have made it to my room and so forth without your help like I always do besides I don't need you to change my clothes unless I'm sick."

"Sorry, Mistress Rizzo, I'm highly aware that I don't need to stay up for you but I'd thought you would like something to eat and drink afterwards. I made hot chocolate and a cake since I know you sometimes get hungry after going to the plays despite it being once in a blue moon," reply Marcus.

"Sounds lovely just let me get into pajamas so I can go to bed after it."

"Of course"

I get into my bedroom, clean my makeup off, and get into red silk pajamas that Mario gave me as a gift just this past summer and head back out. I eat a slice of the vanilla cake and had a mug of the hot chocolate that thankfully had time to cool while I was changing. I end up falling asleep after eating and the weekend goes well but I did get a text from Leo the next morning to see how things went and he was surprised how well it went. No one really pried into it over the weekend and the next Monday at school, I see Eric glaring at me so I head in quickly since I really don't want to deal with his stupidity. As usual I put things away in the locker that I keep rather plain even if we can decorate them anyway we like and Eric comes up to me.

"Please leave me alone, Eric," I state.

"In your dreams, I will make your life a living hell for breaking up with me last week," he replies eyeing me up and down. "I will get what I want anyways and I want you more than you know and I will not go easy on you and I don't care what you say because we are doing it."

At that, he closes my locker and grabs me roughly causing me to drop my items before I'm forced into the janitor's closet nearby and he locks it. Soon I hear people behind the door as Eric tries to get the pantyhose off of me but it takes him so long he couldn't do anything other than get my underwear down by the time a teacher unlocks it thanks to me screaming my lungs out. Leo is beside the teacher and without thinking I run up to, he and I get escorted to the nurse's office most likely to wait for the ambulance but nothing happened since it was interrupted. Leo had to go back to class but his eyes are filled with worry but before I can get to the ambulance, I see Eric being taken away by the police and one stops by.

"The ambulance will be here shortly but can I get a statement from you now?" he asks.

"Sure, and to clarify things he didn't have the time to rape me, it was merely an attempt," I reply before telling him what happened. "Is there anything else you need to know?"

"No, and if we do one of us will contact you."

At that, he leaves and I head to the hospital since the ambulance finally arrived where Uncle Jin Sang and Marcus meet me but at least Rex was given to Marcus so he can be kept with someone. They do the rape kit, which I don't particularly care for, but I know they will find nothing and I really want signed out as soon as I can. They finally get done and they come back but I have to tell them what happened and I don't know exactly what is going to happen fully for the court thing. Uncle Jin Sang had to call work in the hall and I guess he is taking the rest of the day off but I don't want to be away from school but the good thing is I just stay an hour more before being released.

"Susanna, are you sure you are alright?" asks Uncle Jin Sang for like the hundredth time once we reach my apartment.

"Yes, a little shaken up but I'm fine," I reply. "Besides the doctors said that he caused no medical problems and that they found no fluid meaning it was only a failed attempt. I will press charges if needed but I'm not sure if this will reach the court or be settled outside of the court. And you didn't have to take off work for me you know that since this is pretty much an excuse to miss school that I don't want. Is there something more going on with you and Aunt Sun Hee?"

"Not really, but you are really our last child per say to live in Los Angeles both Eun Sun and Shin Il are with SM Entertainment, Mi Cha is in her first year of college and Dong Sun is in San Francisco as a chef. Not to mention you have way to end up in these situations that we want to make sure you are safe but we don't know how to make sure of that. Also, I did call Mario and he is very worried about you since this was an attempt and it is his day off from work since he is your brother I thought he had the right to know. I couldn't get a hold of any of your grandparents so I left a message on the answering machines so expect a call from them later today."

"Ok, I'll call Mario now and settle everything down with him."

I call Mario at that and fill him and answer any questions that he might have and the rest of the day of school, I'm on the phone with my family trying to explain things to them. It is very draining, by the end, I'm half asleep, and I catch Leo's voice talking to Marcus since Uncle Jin Sang went home since Aunt Sun Hee called him to get back. I barely crack my eyes by the time he comes up to me but he has a smile on his face but it doesn't help one bit for my mood right now even if nothing happened. I sit up to let him sit beside me so we can talk since I can that he may need to talk about a few things that went in school as far as notes and everything.

"So, how was school?" I ask.

"Alright, I have the notes for the first part of classes that I have you with and Tim will let you borrow his tomorrow," replies Mario. "Are you feeling alright? I mean he nearly raped you at school no less."

"I'm not in the greatest moods but I'm fine and it mainly due to me having to tell my family members what happened all over again. I'm just hoping he gets reprimanded for his actions and learns to leave me alone from this and not do it to another girl because that will get him in more trouble. Have you told your family what happened yet?"

"No, and I won't until I get home since Milana dropped me off and waiting for me to leave but I'll see you at school or at the date whichever comes first."

He leaves and I lay back down and I look at Marcus before saying, "I'm not taking mental days."

"But the doctor said it would be better for you to get your head around it and be away from school for a few days. Besides your Jin Sang already called the school saying you won't make it for the whole week so you can try and calm down and be more readily available for the police if they need you this week."

"Fine"

I give off a heavy sigh and close my eyes again wishing that I were born to a different family where none of this would happen to me whatsoever. The week crawls by and the only thing that has kept me from losing my mind is doing school work, which really doesn't take long, and Tim does come by with his notes but later than Leo does. He says nothing but gives me a worried look at least before leaving and at least the music parts helps with my band. Unfortunately, this week I'm also barred from doing anything for my band, which we have to finish next week, which sucks badly even if this is for my health, but this needs to get done. When it comes to Friday, I have a one track mind and that is my date with Leo which I'm trying to get perfect and I go through several changes of clothes before I decide upon a red t-shirt with black roses on it and a pair of dark wash jeans since he said it will be very causal. But it is unlike me to go through several changes to hang out let alone a date but I get in my black converse and wait until that evening since I just have my hair down. By 4 he comes by, Marcus lets him, and we hug.

"You look better than on Monday after the attack," he states.

"Thanks, and you look good," I reply. "So how much am I the topic of discussion of the school?"

"A lot but I don't want to talk about it. I do have notes and homework from day and Tim gave me his stuff for you so it is all on the counter that you can do over the weekend. But let's get going before my mom calls me and have us hurry up. We are going to the movie first then dinner if that is alright with you."

"That's fine."

We leave and for the movie, it is a new movie that is out called A Lovely Jamaican Holiday that is a new romantic comedy, which Leo picked out and I didn't. It is a lovely film and so forth but neither one of us would pick this out especially if we are hanging out and all. There a few couples here but mostly females with their popcorn and tissues though Leo and I got popcorn to share though he ate it all since I stopped eating the popcorn after awhile. Sure, the Jamaican guy falls in love with this American girl on her vacation but at the end she has to leave but they do end up back together after a year apart but he was so clumsy making it funny. After the movie we wait for his mom to pick us back up and head for a family friendly restaurant where he said that once we are done he'll contact his parents since his dad maybe back by then. We take are seats and look at our menu and order before either one of says something to each other but I can see that he is nervous.

"Leo, before you say anything I want to know what we are before I decide to date again so I can move on," I reply.

"I know and so do I but I guess I have to come out and say it since I think it is going to be reciprocated," replies Leo. "I have had a crush on you for 2 years since I was 13 and I have been afraid to acknowledge them let alone act upon them since I wasn't sure you would do. I would love to start truly dating you and be boyfriend and girlfriend since we know each other for a long time and our friendship at times will mimic an actual relationship with us."

"You shouldn't have felt like you had to deny it or even act upon it because I do love you and again I've had a crush on you since I was 12-13 years old as well and I don't deny it and would have loved to act upon it earlier if you weren't denying it. I know I shouldn't wait for the male to make the first move but it was safer for me because of you know what to have you make the 1st move in case you said it wasn't time yet. I would love to be that to you if that is what you want but you can't back out as sometimes you do when it gets heavy. It will start as soon as we go to bed tonight either be it alone or together so there is no going back on this."

"I'm sure I want to do this, I won't back out. But I also want a more active role in helping you heal which I don't feel I get now with just being friends with you and that this will give me a bigger position to help you even if it is something you have to do alone. I mean, you use me as a confidant but I want to be more than a confidant to you because I feel I'm unproductive in getting you better since I know I can't fix it but there has to be more that I can do. I know your back story and everything so I won't be like Eric trying to force you into having sex with me or control you but I tend to worry a lot about you and it scares girls away from me."

"I understand you want to help more but I don't know how for now than being my confidant but I suggest you come to my next therapy session and he may have pointers for you. It maybe just your role to be my confidant even if you want to help me any way you can but this will have to deal with me willing to give up some control to give to you and that is going to be hard for me. I don't know if it needed or not but I haven't had control of my life until I came here and it feels good."

"That part I know and I don't want to take away your control but I feel there is more that I can do to help you heal but I don't know what yet and I will go to your next appointment since he might help. Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Yes"

We kiss at that and have a fun evening but that night we get to my house since his parents are letting him stay over according to his dad but he winks at us. They know we are angels and will let one of us stay over and be in the same room due to the angels. We both know that they want us to change into angels when it will be less painful on us as teenagers than adults will so that night we end up having sex and everything seems right with the world. Over the weekend, we change into angels and by that Monday morning, we are done changing. It makes both of us happy about this, we wouldn't have any other way, and it seems Tim's plan worked. Also that weekend we couldn't keep our hands off of each other despite my back burning from my wings growing out which were covered in ash when they were fully grown so I had to wash up. Also my therapist did say that Leo could do more but I have to be the one to initiate it and to wait for me to give it over to him and that I just need a confidant which I have already given him a role over. Leo wasn't aware that it was a major role already so he is happy for now to be my confidant. As for turning into angels our looks don't change much but we both have large pure white wings covered in feathers and just bring us closer together.

In the next 2 years, Eric is given 5 years in prison in court and I forget how many hours of community service but he was the first one I fully see go to jail for trying to sexually assault me. He pleads guilty and being a minor and his first offence, he got a lesser punishment especially since he was remorseful. My band release our first CD and tour as an opening gig first then had our own tour. I had a tutor while on it that was done by my 17th birthday with the opening act in the spring and our tour in the summer, which I did have a tutor on tour so I can keep up with classes. We have a few months off and that summer before my 18th, we start on our second CD considering the reception we got with the 1st CD.


	5. More Devastation Of The Heart

More Devastation of the Heart

_Dear Diary, I don't know what to tell you right now other than it feel like my heart again has been taken out my chest and shattered in to smaller and greater number of pieces especially the ones I'm still picking up from the bastards that stole my childhood. Everyone that I know is worried about me and we had to put the second CD on hold and it is killing me that we can't finish it for a month so I can heal without interruption other than school. I was making good progress in therapy and now it is a lot of steps back and almost back to square one especially after what I heard what happened when my bastard half sister convinced everyone that she has changed but apparently, she hasn't. That what stings more, since I gave her a second chance but no more; I will never give her more chances and the boys will get no second chances. ~Susanna Young Mi Rizzo_

"Hey get away from her, you bastard!" I hear Tim yells as this guy is on top of me raping me after pummeling me into submission and there are police sirens off in the distance. "Susanna, hold on the police will be here shortly."

I'm glad that I called Leo before I came out but I know this guy he is Farah's boyfriend that I saw for a month a few weeks ago and all I was going to do is wait for Leo outside. Tim must have been in the area and saw this going down but when he finishes the police take him and Tim gets in my face to monitor my breathing. Leo pulls up next and pretty much comes up to my other side since I don't live far but I'm wondering where the ambulance is at since as the police took the guy they radioed for an ambulance. It finally gets here and all what I can fully remember is it being a frenzy and having some sort of reaction to something cancelling out my thyroid medication before I end up falling asleep.

Sorry I should formally introduce myself. I'm Susanna Young Mi Rizzo. I am 5'10", 17 years old, and my birthday is October 26. I have black thick very curly (tight coils) mid back hair that shaped around my face and if it is the right humidity will turn into an afro. My eyes are very dark brown that looks black due to being part African and Korean and the only Korean features are my eyes and jaws. The rest I mimic my dad with my medium golden brown skin that was the same shade as my dad or so I was told. In fact my hair takes after my African side as well and I think a mixture of 3C and 3B type of Curls*. I have an hourglass figure but I have to work at than getting too fat since I have hypothyroidism and take a once daily pill to maintain a healthy level. Because of my head I cannot take birth control whatsoever, trust me my neurologist tried every option available to him and my body reacted weird that could possibly kill me so it is only condoms for me. I have a bad head that all started with being shaken as a baby and any hit to my head causes more damage to it but I'm lucky to have fainting spells and not a living vegetable. Due to that, I have an assistant dog Rex and live with a nurse, Jasmine Narang, and a butler, Marcus Pagani.

Jasmine Narang has light brown skin, brown skin, and black wavy hair (though I think it is just as curly as mine but I only see it in waves). She stands at 5'3" and was recruited right after she graduated nursing school for a couple of months. Marcus is fair skinned with green eyes and straight blonde hair that he keeps shaped around his face. He is 6'2" and right now looks to be in his early 30's since I have no clue who long after butler school he was recruited. Rex I should have told you about before and the other pets I have so that is the main people I live with right now and they are family to me even if at points I want to live my actual family.

My family, I'm sorry but I will only describe them as they come in the story just due to the size of the people I'll be describing except for my immediate family that I'm still in contact with and my Aunt and Uncle who live close by. I'm the youngest daughter of Kyle Bartolo and Hyun Jung Rizzo and my siblings are in birth order are Mario Kyle Rizzo, Jason Chin Ho, Nathan Mun Hee, and Farah Kwan Sun Jenkins, Riccardo Kyu Bok, Raimondo Suk Chul, and Sara Jae Hwa Rizzo. I don't keep in touch with Jason, Nathan, and Farah any longer due to what they put me through as a child. Mario is 6'2", 30 years old, and his birthday is July 15th. He has black curly hair that he keeps buzzed, a medium brown skin, and black eyes. He has a partner named Nicholas Beyar and has a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter named Wilfred Mario and Emmaline Gabriella Rizzo-Beyar. I see them once in a blue moon since they live in NYC so I either have to go to them or they come to me but I love the family. The triplets are 25 years old and since I'm not going into much how they look like I will just tell you that Nathan and Jason are identical and the triplet's birthday is January 4. Next up are Riccardo and Raimondo Rizzo both are identical twins so they are 5'10", 19 years old, and their birthday is February 27. They both have light brown skin that pretty much looks like a tan and have black Korean eyes. the only way to tell them apart is how they style their curly hair, Rich keeps his hair buzzed just like Mario and Ray as of right now look like Anakin Skywalker from _Revenge of the Sith_except with curlier hair. They have dark brown hair than black and they live and go to college in London, England. Last but not least, in my immediate family is my fraternal twin Sara Jae Hwa Rizzo. She is 5'7", has dark brown thick loser curly hair (3A-3B* mix I think), a lighter brown again looks tan complexion, and black Korean eyes. She is in a South Korean girl group with our cousins Eun Sun Greenberg called Baby World therefore it is rare that I see even if she is under Mario's rules. The band has 5 members and Eun Sun and Sara said I'm their honoree member just because SM Entertainment did want me at one point and I think I would have been in that band.

Eun Sun parents are Jin Sang and Sun Hee Greenberg and they are my legal guardians. They have 4 children and in birth order are Dong Sun, Mi Cha, Shin Il, and Eun Sun. Jin Sang is in his mid 50's with his birthday being on November 15. He stands at 5'8", has black by graying hair, and black eyes. Sun Hee immigrated to USA when she was going to college a few years back and met Jin Sang in college. She is in her early 50's, 5'2", and her birthday is March 4. She has black hair that she dies to hide grays and black eyes. Jin Sang is a music producer and did help my band when were making our decision and Sun Hee is a principal at George High School which is in the same system of Newman's Academy.

My friends is the same with my family but I live or at least we spend a lot of time together with my boyfriend (my angel's fiancé's host) Leo. His full name is Leonardo Alfonso Di Mercurio. He is 6'4"-5" (almost ready to stop growing), 16 turning 17, and his birthday is August 15, 1989. He has dark brown lose curly, aquamarine blue eyes, and fair skin that will tan instead of burning. In fact, his birthday is only days away since today is August 12 and I've been hiding my gift from him but that maybe forgotten for awhile now.

You see I know this guys somewhat that attacked, he is Farah's boyfriend that some goddamn unknown reason she convinced all of us that she changed since the restriction/protection order needed to be revised which it is revised now. Well for the whole month of July, I stayed with them and she used me as a slave and her boyfriend I'm unaware if he did anything during that time but he was very silent and went with Farah's orders. I wouldn't be surprised if there was drugs in my food to help me sleep soundly and not wake up to anything but I got my period once I returned so I don't think anything happened.

So here, I am in the hospital getting checked out from what happened and end up sleeping because of the injuries that I sustained. I don't even know where Rex is even if he did bite him good so they might be getting DNA from his as well. I'm just hoping things will resolve themselves over time since I can easily see this becoming a major deal for the media and my family. I just hope that I don't end up pregnant from this because it seems he didn't use a condom.

•Leo's POV•

Tim and Milana are arguing about whose fault this is for letting it happen and she is trying to take the blame on me and Tim on Susanna for not paying attention. The thing is on the ride over here since I rode with Susanna she did say she was aware of him and tried to get back inside but it was too late. I know Susanna will take this on herself when it is no one's fault other than the person who attacked her.

"Would you two, shut up?" I retort. "Neither one of us is at fault here but the person who attacked her. Blaming the victim isn't something you do and I find it very offensive and so does her family so I advice you not to blame any victim. And I'm not a part of this either she called me and I was on my way since we have an agreement that I will only come to pick her up when she calls. She doesn't want me to stay with her all day when she records. It is because I could be doing other productive things and she doesn't my life to fully revolve around her. And I will not let you two see her if you guys are still fighting. Do you guys understand?"

"Yes," they reply.

"Good"

I sigh and look at the floor waiting to get called back to see her. It is something that I don't particularly enjoy but it is something that has to be done and I just texted her family about the incident but I will call once I see her. All that I know from what was said in the ambulance, that they thought that some of her wounds might get infected. A doctor comes out and motions for me and I step in the hall way with him since I have no clue what is truly going on and what not.

"How is she?" I ask.

"Good, and she is sleeping but we aren't releasing her right away," replies the doctor. "She had an allergic reaction to some antibiotic in the rush to do the rape kit properly, giving her the emergency contraception, and administrating the drug. Other than that, she is healthy and has signed so the police can have the evidence and police will question her tomorrow. Is her legal guardian around so when she is released probably in 24 hours an adult can sign her out? We need an adult over 21 to sign her out."

"They are on vacation but she doesn't live with them but lives with a butler and in home nurse both are over 21. The butler said he is on his way when I texted him but he hasn't came yet."

"That will do if she lives with them regularly than her legal guardians. But you can go and see her now."

"Thank you."

I am shown where Susanna is and she is sleeping in the private room due to the media, which I think is a good call to let her sleep. Sitting by her side, I grab her hand and just look at her hoping that nothing will cause her to revert to committing suicide. It will kill me if she tries to do it again. She moans in her sleep as she does sometimes before turning her head in my direction. After awhile, Milana comes in and just looks at me before saying anything.

"Sorry about my indiscretions but I wasn't aware that you guys have a system in place already," she states.

"It's alright, and the main reason I don't want you guys to fight in front of Susanna like that because she will take it heart and will try to commit suicide," I reply. "She most likely already blames herself to some degree and with Tim it will just escalate even more. If she knew this guy, it is already high enough already when it wasn't her fault. Getting her to understand that will be hard enough without the entire victim blaming."

"I see, do you know if she pregnant considering you guys are you knows what?"

"Even for us it will be too early for us to tell once it is implanted she'll be able to tell much greater than I could. But we need to factor in that it has been possibly millennia since she was last pregnant so it may take her awhile that a normal human would need to see. But I'm not saying she isn't since her head react badly to any birth control and the emergency contraception was negated earlier. She had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic that she was given. With that in mind, she has a higher risk of getting pregnant than if she was on the pill and/or the emergency contraception wasn't negated. It isn't much of a chance but a higher chance. I'm not counting the still birth as an angelic pregnancy since she was still human for the most part at that time."

"Hmm, and hopefully Tim calms down before he comes in here."

"Yeah"

Susanna moves more in sleep but it is becoming an audible nightmare so I grab her hand tighter trying to tell her I'm here but she doesn't respond when she is sleeping. Tim finally comes in and apologizes but that he only heard her screaming from the party location he was at. Her butler finally arrives and her nurse showed up with her, which was the main reason they were late. I get them filled in but Susanna is very much on my mind right now.

•Susanna's POV•

After awhile I wake up to see Leo has my hand and Jasmine and Marcus has come but I know Leo is faking sleep. Once Angels are all grown, we don't need sleep unless we have major injuries or the female is pregnant but I need sleep whenever I faint because of my head. I can't fully change that until my human time is done and I go back to heaven.

"Leo," I state and he opens his eyes. "What time is it?"

"2 am," he replies after looking at his watch.

"Thank you"

"No problem, so how are you feeling?"

"Better I guess, I think I'm still recovering from the reaction to the drug. I got out at ten so that means I slept for a few hours. I should have really stayed inside until you arrived just in case but I normally meet you outside."

"This is not your fault; you didn't know when you called me that he was waiting for you. Even if you knew him to a degree there was no way you would have known. I don't want you to beat yourself up over this and becoming suicidal. You mean too much to me and you need to live for now not die."

"He was Farah's boyfriend that attacked me and I thought I was being stalked after I got back here from seeing Farah. I mean I had to go to her house in upstate California causing this so I am kicking myself."

"Don't, whatever you don't it's not your fault and the police will want to know that when they come here in the morning. I know this is going to be hard for you and everything with the police questioning and all but, they need the answers. Even if you know that since you've been through this countless of times in our minds but I don't want you to ever feel like this was your fault."

I get what Leo is getting at and I know it will be a long while before I don't blame myself. This is because what I went through as a child and my maternal half sibling blaming me for mom's death and leading me to believe that what happens to me, I deserve. My therapist and I have been working on it but it seems to be an ongoing thing. That morning the police do come and for privacy reasons everyone visiting me went to the waiting room. Telling them was bad enough but to learn that he had confess that he drugged me and raped me for a month when I was at Farah's house though I believe it was Farah that drugged. I point that out and the history behind it, which they were surprised that she or the boys didn't go to prison. They leave and I stay in the hospital for another to make sure everything is going all right with me before I'm released. The bad thing about this I have too many messages on my phone from my family so I had to call them but Leo did help so it didn't take all day.

The next 2 weeks I really don't notice much change in myself other than being busier than normal with finishing the 2nd CD, school doing something special for a guest that all the music specialist and acting specialist have to present at, and the ADA needing to get my story strait and the evidence. I'm very stressed out and when I'm stressed out I hardly eat anything leading to fainting spells. Yes, this is a bad situation to be in since not will only cause fainting spells I could get sick. Leo and Marcus have told me several times to slow it down to make sure I don't faint and get into major complications. Right now, the practice for the party or whatever is done so I'm back at the apartment not feeling very well.

"Sue, you are running yourself raged," states Leo. "The school will understand that you can't do this because of things you have to do and one just that you just got. And you aren't looking that healthy, so you need to relax."

"I know but the music and the theater instructors made it mandatory unless medically you can't do it and the freaking play is tomorrow. But if you must know I'm not on the stage, I'm the person that wrote the music out of requests from not only the music teachers but the students as well. I'm making sure everything goes smoothly with the music and the vocals have their leads down. They figured since I was doing the music that I didn't need to be on stage as well. But that doesn't exclude me from attending the performance whatsoever. Sure, we have a conductor and everything bur every director even the music director, aka me, has to make an appearance after the show. The most stressful thing about this is I never done it, I'm trying to make it prefect, and yet the players can perform and memorize their lyrics. Not to mention Tim makes it kind of hard. God, I so want to kill him when this play is over."

"Being lazy?"

"Yes and not learning is lines or the songs so everyone is pissed at him for it and his thought that he shouldn't have to do it since he is a recording artist. He even tried that with me."

"Don't worry too much, it will turn out fine. You are stressing yourself out and not been eating much which you need to eat more especially if you are pregnant. Isn't your period supposed to come tomorrow?"

I nod my head before I must have passed out on the couch from everything and not eating much. I slept through most of the night and all through the evening that means I didn't get dinner when everyone else ate. Not that I minded, I really just want to escape from this world for a few hours so this might be the only way right now. I know that I really should eat more to help with me fainting hard and fast which happens a lot more when I don't have enough nutrients in my system especially when stressed out. But this seems different from a stress, lacking of nutrients, and sick faints making me wonder in my mind if I'm pregnant. Of course, this could be from letting my mind wonder since I really hope that I'm not pregnant. I seriously don't know what I'll do if I am pregnant.

•Leo's POV•

God, seeing Susanna like this breaks my heart and I know if she could she will lessen it but from what it seems she can't. I get her body into our room since my parents let me spend as much time as I want here and I've been helping around here more than my house. I'm not sure if this is from lack of nutrient, her getting sick, or a pregnancy symptom for her since it can be all three at the same time as well. I leave the door open so in case she wakes up before I go to "bed" she can come out.

"Marcus, I don't think Susanna will make it to eat dinner with everyone she just fainted," I state.

"Ok, well we'll most likely have leftovers so she can have them when she wakes up," replies Marcus. "If she doesn't want them then it will be lunch for Jasmine and I tomorrow. I did put home pregnancy tests in your bathroom so when it gets time to test she isn't out shopping for them or relying on the school. Hopefully she will test soon since from what Jasmine told me she can start testing tomorrow and that this person that attacked her got her when she was ovulating. She does fertility tracks which is secondary to making sure she isn't sick or getting sick which is the main reason she is tracking her temperature and whatever else medically is needed that she feels is necessary."

"Well that increases her chances of getting pregnant; does Susanna know Jasmine is charting her cycles?"

"Yes, she asked her to since one it can help in away to help her not to get pregnant when she doesn't want to since she can't take birth control. I believe Susanna looks at them every week when she isn't this busy meaning this month has caused her not to look. She took an advice awhile ago when we found out she couldn't take birth control from a member on a forum that she is sometimes on. I believe it is for sexual health and abuse or along those lines."

"You mean WebMD's Sexual Abuse Support Group?"

"Yes,"

"I know, she told me her account on it and when she gets like this I kind of fill them in since they are more or less part of her support group. Sure, they may not play a major role and she tells everyone in the support group those stories anyways. Besides the paparazzi still haven't figured out it is her due to her paranoia and will only post pictures of her on the band's blog which she never links to."

Marcus nods his head and gets back to work on the dinner, which doesn't take much longer. After dinner, we do our things but Jasmine makes sure Susanna is all right but she has no real concern since she has no signs of being sick. For the night time I stay in the room as Marcus and Jasmine get some sleep and I do a quick update for the people on the WebMD support group and end up searching for pregnancy to help Susanna with but I can't find much. I do continue to search about it to about 2 am when Susanna stirs in her sleep meaning she will probably be getting up soon. I smile looking at her but I don't know how to pose my question to her since she can get mad at me for bringing it up. Then again, she could be fine about me bringing it up since I won't know until I ask. But I need to make sure she eats something when she wakes up since it has been a long while since she has eaten anything. I believe the last thing she ate was at breakfast so that means over 12 hours she hasn't eaten anything and I don't want it to go to 24 hours.

•Susanna's POV•

I wake up after awhile and I notice it is two am and I know Leo is going to yell at me for not eat anything but I did have lunch though it was small. The school has been supplying lunch for the rehearsals but all what I had and could only stomach was a sandwich at that time. But at least I don't feel dizzy so I sit up and yawn. I see that Leo is on the computer so I end up going up to him and he jumps of the computer seat.

"Did you have anything for lunch?" he asks.

"I could only stomach a sandwich and water," I reply. "They provide lunch at the rehearsals which is good but lunch was at noon and now it is two am."

"Well at least you didn't go all day without everything but what do you want to eat now? It has been 14 hours since you last ate anything and it's not good for your body let alone if you are pregnant. Just out of curiosity have you talked to Jasmine about this month about your women things?"

"I really haven't had the time but I sometimes don't need to talk to if I'm busy and I really should have pushed for the emergency contraception when I got up. I knew I was around ovulation time and I'm scared that I'm pregnant from the rape. The faint wasn't normal and it wasn't sick different or anything like that and that I could only stomach a sandwich and water at lunch time scares me even more. But I don't want to ruin the show tomorrow so I will take a test tomorrow morning even if I have to get to school that day. I know you are worried about everything and me but we have to take it a day at a time I guess. As for something to eat, what do we have that I can eat with my hands? I don't want to eat at the table at this hour."

"I believe we have leftover pizza from lunch today that you can have otherwise I can make you a grilled ham and cheese sandwich and let you have chips or something with it. It is going to have to be what you can stomach and if you can't stomach that, we have dinner in the fridge, which was spaghetti carbonara. But I'm not going to McDonalds at this hour to get you something to eat. So please tell me what you want. And I do want you to find out sooner or later."

"What type of pizza?"

"We ordered pepperoni, onions, mushrooms, and banana peppers and we have 4 slices left."

"I'll have the pizza."

Leo smiles at that, goes, and heats it up as I get into pajamas since I really can't eat cold pizza as my brothers can. Eating the pizza, I'm still very much wondering if I'm pregnant or not since it was in the ovulation time and I never let Leo even with a condom to have sex with me on those days. After I'm done with dinner, we got back to my room to pretend to sleep but Leo wanted to some searching about the pregnancy. For you see this is a human and angelic pregnancy so that will also play a major role in what will happen. But since I'm the angel, the pregnancy will hopefully cause fewer complications than a human would but we aren't getting much other than Nephilim. My pregnancy, if I am pregnant, contradicts that it was human females and angelic males so this could be totally different. Right now, we'll wait and see but this gives me very little hope since the Nephilim from my angelic understanding wasn't even half human and half angel but they were very tall giants or at least what they are calling Nephilim.

I stumble upon a book that I inherited when my dad died but I never opened or see what it held but even when I turned as an angel. Opening its old binding there is nothing in it but something seems to be different so I go to the very first page and examine more before Leo comes to my side and he looks at me. My mind is rusty as to what I had in heaven but I always felt familiar with this book which is why when I got it I never opened it up until now. It might hold the answers we need but my mind is going blank on the password.

"Leo, was this our book in heaven?" I ask out of the blue.

"I wouldn't say ours fully, Michelangelo, your angelic, father gave it to you in my understanding the day you were born but when we imprinted it became ours," he replies. "It will hold the answers but I think Uriel saw what would happen before you were born. It will only tell me so much but you have full reign over it but if you need my help in getting it to work, I will be more than willing. I had it in my possession for some time when searching for you but after so many hosts that I lost it. It somehow found its way into your human family but since you haven't seen it in millennia you will be rust at it for some time."

I nod my head and sigh before saying in a sing songy voice, "I need answers, and I will void the already in place password."

"Sousanna, or should I say the host of Sousanna, it is a pleasure to be with you, I have a few questions that need answered before I can help and there was no password," ink shows. "First off, have you changed into an angel yet? If so are you with Leonide's host?"

"Yes, I am fully turned into an angel in my host and Leo is sitting beside me."

"Ok, no more questions that are all I need to know, now what can I help you with?"

"I was raped 2 weeks ago but a human and there is a possibility that I might be pregnant from the rape. If I am pregnant what would the outcome be like in terms of pregnancy?"

"First off, you need to fully know if you are pregnant and since it has been years you will either have to suffice for a human pregnancy test which will be the fastest in this case or be taught over two weeks to feel the baby inside of you. Now if you are pregnant it is easy on either species human or angel but any existing problems in humans like say if your human host sustained an injury that is life threatening it could pose some risks. What this coupling will be like is a Nephilim but if you guys have already researched it then you would have a clue as to what these Nephilim are. Granted, they were not giants but still God looks down upon them since they cannot control their powers. They will be taller than the average human will but still smaller or the same height of the angelic parent. In your situation, though take solace in that the Lord will have no punishment of this Nephilim since you were not trying to conceive with a human. I will help you with the pregnancy but I can only do so much if you are sure but I would advise you to think about the child since you'll grow attached and the baby as well. Anything else?"

"No, not unless I have messages from people in heaven, since you do store them."

"Not fresh ones, but all what you have been receiving is wishing you luck to turn back into an angel. But I have been updating them on your progress since I was waiting for confirmation this so please expect Michelangelo, Adulwulf, Zeph, Uriel and Kimon to come to see you guys soon. Just so I can message them when were you fully changed?"

"2 years ago," replies Leo. "But it shouldn't make a difference since we don't let anyone know what we are and are following the rules."

"It will not have any bearing but they will be surprised in the 2 years there hasn't been a demonic attack since Uriel just knew the year and it will take awhile for you guys to contact my about it. It does deal with a pregnancy and demonic attacks but then again they could be waiting for the right time to attack. I will give you a message when I hear back from Michelangelo but this might start the attacks so is on the lookout."

At that, the words disappear and I end up closing it before putting it back on the shelf. Leo looks at me but if this is, true then we need to get ready but there is no way they can come now since tomorrow will be a major hassle. The rest of the night goes rather uneventful since Leo and I just talk about the future since we don't fully know what will happen in the future. The morning comes so we end up getting ready for school and eating breakfast before leaving. As always, the school is in a buzz about either the latest scandal someone has gotten in or the most recent discovery in science or history. There is a hint of what happened to me since some people look my way making me put away my books in hurry so I can go to my first class of junior year.

"You are quite the talk in the music group?" states Tim coming up to my locker since lockers are separated by specialty and his only a few lockers down. "You coming to the rehearsals haven't fooled anyone that there was an attack on your life. Though they admire your determination to get back to normal than most girls they know and how you never back down. Seriously, how did you end up with Leo? You don't think that oaf; can protect you from all this gossiping and the tabloids."

"Tim, you don't understand and you know as well as I do what we and he can protect me but I don't want him to protect me from everything especially trivial matters. Let people talk, and you know every school will have their gossip stories our is just on a different scale. Besides I'm used to it to people talking about me and don't call Leo an oaf," I reply remembering my first day here where I was the main story.

"Ok, so maybe I didn't word it properly but at least this isn't malicious talking but more worried about you than anything else. Hey are you alright?"

"Huh, yeah, I must have extra blood or something rushes to my head or from it."

In reality, I feel dizzy and I don't think I can stop this fainting spell in time with no seats around but at least I could still walk. Going to first period it is very much a haze as my hearing starts to fade and sometimes my vision making it very hard to concentrate. The teacher thankfully didn't call on me mostly because I had my head down trying to fight the fainting spells which if it is slow I can but this is really different than before. The next thing I know when the bell rings I end up fainting as soon as I get up and when I come back, everyone is in my face. But the teacher is rushing to my side but Leo gets me into his arms before saying he'll take me to the nurse's office.

"Leonardo, you can put Susanna in a bed and get to your next class," states a nurse since over the course of the year I come in here more than any other students do. Leo sits me down and the nurse comes up to me before saying anything else, "Susanna are you getting sick?"

"I don't think so," I stutter out.

"Ok, well do you think you can stand enough to do a pregnancy test?"

I nod my head and I manage to get the bathroom and it is good since I also have to go. I take the test but a nurse was in there to make sure I don't hurt myself further but I just want to lay down so I don't wait for the result. Un fortunately the results came back pretty quick since I wasn't a minute since I had laid back down on the bed when I nurse comes up to me. She has a worried look on her face but sighs meaning she is worried about my reaction.

"Susanna, I can't give you the medication," she starts. "It will be too dangerous since we can't give it to you for nine months. We have the front office to call your legal guardians but I'm afraid you are pregnant and the results came back faster than normal even if the students waited a few weeks past their periods to test."

"No, I can't, I can't be pregnant by that fucking rapist," I blurt out before breaking down.

I don't know when I fully came to from the news but I just know I'm still in the nurse's office and it has been an hour since I learned everything. It appears the nurses let me have time alone until I was done where I was informed that neither one of them could pick me up nor if I was 18 they could call my butler directly and have me sign myself out. So that means I'm here alone in the nurses office until I somehow magically get better. Lunch time comes and I'm given food from the cafeteria reserved for sick kids that had to stay since sometimes parents can't pick them up right away. No one came but that is fine with me even with me being numb but at least at the end of the day I can go to the backstage and get ready even if I missed that last rehearsals but I don't know where Leo is. But I spot Tim and he comes my way.

"So are you feeling any better?" he asks.

"A little bit, where is Leo?" I reply. "I have something I need to tell him and he should be one of the few people I'll tell."

"He went home to get changed but why are you still in your uniform? You had more than ample time at your apartment to get ready for this thing. I mean you still have time but you need to be ready at the time the performers are and frankly, you need to be presentable for being the composure. Seriously, you are like a little kid at times even if you never had a child and your neurologist isn't letting you drive like a normal 17 year old. So?"

"My legal guardians were too busy to pick me up so I was stuck in the nurse's office all day, Tim. My uncle is taking enough time from his hectic schedule from being a producer in the music industry in this so he couldn't take more time off and my aunt is a principal at another so that leaves her out. Is the music counselor here or do I have to wait?"

"She's over there talking to the theater counselor."

I nod my head and head over to them. My counselor notices me and she gives me a big hug since today has been relatively not good. They finish their discussion and we go to a private area but at least she isn't shelling me out on my dress but then again she knows my condition.

"You don't have to stay," she states. "Your head and you fainting earlier today make it a good excuse not to come plus your grade has already been assigned. You only needed to come so after the show, we could do the directors and composure but your health is more than important than anything is. That is what you were coming to talk to me about right?"

"Yes, but I also for me personally I would like to stay since my uncle and aunt will be seeing this as well but I would like some help getting into a dress that I have in my bag since the nurses office is closed. I spent all day in there since my legal guardians are busy and they won't let my butler sign me out yet. I'm sorry to bother you with this it is just one it has a back zipper and two I'm afraid I might actually faint again since they've been happening more frequently."

"You aren't a bother, and if you need help you need help there is no shame admitting that. And before I forget, if the trial gets too much for you please come to my office and we'll work something out either for you to have a tutor until you graduate or see if you qualify for early graduation. I don't know your situation following the rape but this has to be a very stressful time for you and rehearsals didn't help much for you."

"Thank you and right now I don't know how crazy it will get but I'd rather Leo, my family, and his family knows before anyone else."

"That is your prerogative and they are a good first start but I take it the nurse in your mind told you not so good news?"

"Yes"

At that I get into a jewel toned purple dress with shoulder straps and ends above my knee but there are a lot of chiffon ruffles that cross each other. It is a pretty dress and I love it, ok well I love all my dresses it is just that I don't get to wear them all the time. The time to the play, everyone kind of does their own thing while getting ready and I really just try to wrap my head around things other than texting Leo we need to talk after the play alone. He agrees since other than this morning and class time we haven't had much time together and I want to tell him in person. Uncle Jin Sang did come to see me a few hours before the show and he is still in his work clothes meaning he needs to get home and changed. I just fill him in minus the pregnancy part since I want that private right now and he signs what papers he needs to not to mention we'll be talking privately later. Though Elizabetta, his mother, texted me questioning about a few things for the picnic this weekend with his family. They know that there is certain food that my neurologist does want me to get more of and there are things that I never really learned to eat. Most of the things I will eat though my neurologist wants me to stay away from a lot of nitrates but I will eat them on occasion.

The play time comes and everything is in its place so the counselors and I just sit back stage and watch the play from there. It goes well and from what I can hear it is going well but I'll know better with the reviews and so forth. We aren't in the front of the house for 3 reasons (at least for me); one it is a packed house, two I have seen it too many times that I don't want to see it again, and three I don't want to be in the audience when all the focus will be on me. About an hour and half before intermission and an hour and 15 minutes after before, the three of us have to go out and greet the crowd. When that happens we go back stage and into the foyer (really the hallway in the school) to see the people attended the play. I meet the person and apparently Leo and his family from his mom side is related to this person and this person is older than my relative that I know since I'm a descendent of the Hargreaves family. Well let's just say I'm shocked to see that they are descended from the Tudor family since somehow they traveled through time like my Hargreaves relatives do, is Henry the VIII** and his family and mistresses. Though, this might explain Tim so very well. They are both man-whores, which I kind of tried not to laugh since I didn't say it out loud. We talked a bit and at the end of the night, everyone went to his or her respective places.

My aunt and uncle, Leo, his family, and I went out to eat at a local restaurant that would be open late at night since as much as we were offered dinner we are still very hungry. Well let's just say most are but I really start feel nauseous so I don't order much. Now that gets them to get me to eat more since I fainted two days in a row but I really don't want to eat much right now. I don't know how many times I had to say that I'm full and that I feel kind of sick but my head isn't spinning which everyone is worried about. And there is no way in hell I'm going to announce I'm pregnant in the restaurant since I don't consider it to be good news at all and I feel I will break down. Really if they knew I was pregnant, right now they might make me eat more than I want and can handle right now. After dinner, we get to my apartment since Uncle Jin Sang that I might have an announcement but then again he seems to be rather intoned to things going on. I sigh before breaking the news and Marcus and Jasmine have joined us.

"I really don't know how to say this since I just found out today during school," I start. "My fainting spells most likely aren't related to me getting truly sick, stress related, or my normal spells. The school as always gave me a home pregnancy test to see if I can take the medication my neurologist put me on to get back to school but there are limitations to it. Well the test came back positive today meaning I got pregnant from the rape. I don't want it to get out because of the paparazzi for awhile since I really don't know how my body will act since I'm pregnant. That being said I do want the honors of calling people in my family and friends that I know it will be a slow process since I could possibly do only a few a day. I know I'm giving restrictions but I really don't know what else to say."

I start to cry again and Leo puts his arm around before saying, "It's going to be alright. You will make the best decision for this child and I will back you up in this."

The others try to consol me but after awhile they have to leave and we go to bed or rather I do since I don't know if it will help me from feeling sick. The next day I call my ob/gyn and neurologist to get things started and to see what I can do for schooling because the pregnancy might make faint more. The ob/gyn said that it is normal for pregnant women to get dizzy and that it might aggravate my head more but he'll give more at my first since I want to make sure I can carry a pregnancy. If I can't I will terminate the pregnancy since I only got to 21 weeks last time. My neurologist said that to be on the safe side to get a tutor since he agreed with the ob/gyn that my fainting spells more and that the stress of actually going to school would put me over the edge. Well I made my appointments with them and I had to wait a day to call my endocrinologist since his day off is Mondays. Well the neurologist and ob/gyn is on the same day just an hour apart when I'm approximately 6 weeks pregnant for several reasons. My endocrinologist won't see me for a few weeks but I'm all right with that.

* * *

AN: * pages/hairtypes/type3

**I'm taking it from the Tudors TV series perspective


	6. The Picnic and Decision About the Aborti

The Picnic and Decision about the Abortion

_Dear Diary, the picnic is today and I don't really want to go to it but I already said I would so I have to honor my commitment. I did get a tutor this week so I won't be going to school this whole school year and possibly my senior year. At least my band is coming as well since they don't know yet but when they do, they will blow their lids that I'm pregnant from a rape. The only reason I'm looking forward to André Whitaker, Paul Salvage, Taylor Kingston, and Kai Huang. Last night Eun Sun, Sara, So Yun, Ha Neul, and Bong Cha called me last night to check up on me since Sara and Eun Sun had to tell their band. Grr, I told them not to tell anyone so it doesn't get out but they just had to tell the band. As far as I know Shin Il aka Sean hasn't told his band then again with his if he did tell it is so big that they are probably arguing who gets to call me. ~Susanna Young Mi Rizzo._

It is early in the morning and I just finish the one lesson to feel the baby but it isn't getting strong yet. I think I can sense it but it will be another week before I'm actually good at it according to the book, which will yell at me if I'm not doing as explaining and practicing before the next day. It knows everything due to the face it is an angelic book and can monitor. It has been 5 days pretty much since I found out that I was pregnant and I think morning sickness since I do not feel good and faint often. Leo comes in and he sees that I'm up since I slept from 10 to 4 but it is now 6.

"How are you feeling?" he asks.

"Good, a little but not very sick feeling so I should be able to make it through the picnic," I reply. "If I asked your mom to be my doula if I am to at least keep this pregnancy, would it be awkward at all? I know she works with my birthing center that I go to see my ob/gyn and I figure she would help that the labor will go smoothly with her."

"It wouldn't be awkward but she might assume at first that she is going to just come as a family member but if you explain to her you want her as a doula she should take it. But I would tell her after we know you can handle a pregnancy and I agree a doula for you not matter what the pregnancy plan is will because it go too much more smoothly. Also with the picnic today if we need to leave early, we'll leave early since your health and the baby's health is top priority."

"I understand that, if I am able to keep the pregnancy I want to explore adoption since I don't know if we are ready for child. You will be forced to be a dad to a child that isn't yours biologically and I don't want to put that on you even if we are dating. I also want to give this child a never had, a fucking childhood, and I'm afraid from the abuse I sustained as a child I will repeat on to her. It is one option that I have that I don't have to raise this little rose."

"That is an option, but I would suggest you wait until we get answers that you can sustain this pregnancy at the appointment in 2 weeks not only from both of your main doctors. Once that is decided, we can look into what you want but you have to be on board and not fighting your heart with your brain. You have every right to be scared, but I'm scared as well for you and the child. This decision though since I had nothing to do with the conception is fully on you. All I can do is support you and your decision but you need to make sure it is right now only for the child but for you as well. I don't want to lose you again and I don't know how adoption will fully affect you, it is not an easy process emotionally. You'll be a good mother when the time comes and it maybe time now that you are to be a mom."

We kiss and I get ready for the day before getting breakfast. The picnic isn't until later in the day so I end up doing a few things for the band since we are to finish our second CD in a few more sessions so I want to make sure we have things done. After awhile my band comes over and they help me relax though Marcus finds them a little messy but Leo also loves them. They maybe older than but then again they were in Shin Il's garage band (for the most part) before he signed on with SM entertainment and he is 5 years older than me.

André Whitaker is 6'3", 20 years old, and his birthday is on September 15. He has dark brown skin, black afro hair that he keeps in long dreadlock, dark brown eyes, and has muscles. He is the rhythm guitarist and backup vocals. His mom came from the Nubian tribe in Africa and his dad as far as I know is that he was born here in America. But I like to hear the Nubian tribes stories plus that it makes me rule out one tribe since my nonno doesn't know which country or tribe his parents came from Africa to Italy. Paul Salvage is 6'1", 19 years old, and his birthday is June 4th. He has green eye that look like emeralds, flaming red shoulder length wavy hair and fair skin since he is of Scottish decent or so that he says. He is also the resident gay in the band as he calls himself. He is our bassist for the band and he will lend his vocals to back up once in awhile. He is also very much a fashionista and loves to dress me up. Taylor Kingston is 6'0", 21 years old, and his birthday is December 1. He has clear blue eyes, short straight blonde hair that he spikes. He is our drummer and sometimes will get annoyed by Paul for trying to dress me up so much. The lead guitarist is Kai Huang who is half Chinese, half Korean but both of his parents were raised in America. He is 5'10", 22 years old, and his birthday is April 13. He has very much the Asian dark eyes and black straight hair that he keeps close to his eyes. He is also the cofounder since he was the lead guitarist in Shin Il's former garage band and close friends with him. He, Taylor, and André where in the band but Taylor and André had to audition as Paul did. I just didn't find anyone else I liked and I know that with Kai I knew him from before so I trusted him. With that being said our band averages out to 6'0" with all our heights and that I'm the size of an average man in America* and taller than the average man in South Korea*.

"Susanna, honey, you're wearing that to the picnic," states Paul. "Uh, we need to get you into something more feminine that is all wrong."

"They said it is casual and comfortable, Paul, and besides I haven't been feeling well. Meaning what I go dressed in is none of your business," I reply forgetting I never told my band that I'm pregnant yet.

The reason I didn't tell them is that I want to have a clear understanding and if I can carry it, I will tell them so they know but right now, I don't think they do. Sure they are my friends but I need answers so I only want family members to really know that I'm pregnant than anyone else. Also, that Paul will go crazy on finding cute maternity clothes for men and for the baby be it a boy or a girl and I really don't want that pressure from them.

"That still is no excuse for looking like you do so let's look at your closet and find something for you to wear. Not feeling well is not an excuse to look like you do unless you are throwing up then I can see that so you aren't ruining your clothes? Come on; let's change your clothes so you'll be good for the picnic."

"Paul, come one, she's' been through enough and she is fine in the shorts and the t-shirt," defends Kai. "Plus with the recent rape she most likely doesn't want to dress up too much than she has to and I think she might be telling us if she is pregnant or not because of you. Then again, I could be totally wrong on that but it seems to be a safe bet since you would want to be the stylist for her growing belly and the baby inside. And Mrs. Di Mercurio did say this is very casual so leave her be."

"Fine, but once we know, Susanna, we going to start looking for maternity and baby items. This baby will be so spoiled."

Kai hit it on the head with that since if I can't carry it then I don't want Paul to get excited about this pregnancy and then to find out I need to abort. Taylor shakes his head at that and André looks at me with a questioning look but they don't say anything what they are thinking. If course they need to know but I really don't know how to tell them while still in this delegate limbo which has been created by Paul. The two then look at each other before sighing since both of them did have one of their older siblings or their mom get pregnant as a teen so I think they can see through what and me I'm trying to hide.

"Not to be rude or anything," starts André. "But you are aware that my 22 year old sister had a child a year younger than you and was as equally scared to tell people about the pregnancy for fear how they would react. If your legal guardians don't know please tell them."

"They know and it isn't how people would react to the news but rather if I had to tell the whole mass of people that knew that I have to do an abortion for medical issues. I'm waiting to go to my 1st appointment to tell the rest near and dear us that are not mine or not mine. I understand I could miscarry after I tell my friends but I don't want to say I have to have an abortion without all the facts for me to carry a child. Do you two understand where I'm coming from? Plus Paul before I know makes it difficult to tell you guys since he'll get excited very quickly," I reply.

"I will not," defends Paul and I shoot him a look.

"Ok, I thought you didn't say anything to anyone and yes medically for you I can see holding off on telling friends until you know for sure if you can carry a pregnancy. We are your band, what happens does affect us in some way shape or form, and Paul shouldn't be your deciding factor when to tell us since you could do adoption. Plus you know we won't tell the press," adds Taylor.

"I know that but my other friends don't even know yet since I was going to tell my close friends after I knew so it wasn't totally of Paul. And I'm not like Rosemary so I see no point on being scared to tell people that I'm pregnant once I know that I can carry one. Oh and I don't want whatever Rosemary and your mother is, André, so that is another reason I'm holding off."

"So you're pregnant," infers André.

"I didn't say that it is a more or less very really possibility of a hypothetical situation. Just wait two weeks that all I ask of you guys and I will tell you if I'm pregnant or not since my appointment is in less than two weeks."

"Guys, leave her alone with this, she'll tell us when she wants," yells Kai. "If she wants to wait let her wait and I don't punish her for waiting to tell us. Paul is enough of a hurdle to tell anyways and you guys are pretty much forcing her to tell us before she is ready. If she only wants, family to know then it is probably for the best right now since how often are we sensitive to her emotions. God, I wish you guys, especially you two, Taylor, and André, since you always bug her for information that she may not want to share yet. Paul is very much harmless and he didn't even go into the pregnancy but as always wants to play dress up."

"Sorry for being a fashionista, someone in this band has to be especially since Susanna isn't stepping up," adds Paul.

"It's alright, I just don't feel like changing," I state. "So are we ready to go to the park or not?"

At that, we leave and I notice Leo grabbing a bag but that might have things in it for the picnic since I was told not to bring anything. We get on the road to the park since it will take at least an hour and half plus a ferry ride to even gets to the picnic site. We've been to the site usually once a year usually sometimes twice when school starts or ends it just depends on what is going on as a group. I do have a fishing license so I end up coming here more often with Carlo and Marcus to catch fresh fish over the course of the year. We get to the boat, Carlo and Elizabetta are loading up what they need, and Carlo shows me the fishing gear.

"You feeling alright?" asks Elizabetta. "I know you don't want the news to go but sometimes symptoms come sooner than at a later date. Also your head will probably magnify things."

"For now, yes I'm fine, but I normally faint once a day or at least feel like it. When I talked to both my ob/gyn and neurologist they said feeling dizzy was normal for people and that it will just cause increase in me. But other things aren't in full swing so hopefully Leo and I don't need to leave too early since only guys know," I reply.

"Well that good, for now and thanks for the heads up. A cousin is here is a nurse and we really haven't informed her of the brain damage you suffered since she is always busy to tell us about her job. I know it is added security since I'm only a doula but she will assume the worse if you faint and if she can't find anything wrong she may want you to go to the ER."

"I have my necklace on so it should lower that."

She smiles at that and we get on the ferry which as we got here paid the ferry fee. It isn't going to leave yet since we are early so we all talk in private about what is happening and there are a few people here. It is about my pregnancy but right now, I don't want the word to get out, which they are respecting but not many might if they overheard.

"Have you thought more on this if you are able to carry the child?" asks Elizabetta.

"Yes, if I can I want to see what adoption holds," I reply. "I'm sorry but I'm scared that I'll repeat what happened to me and the child deserves a chance at a childhood that I never have. I know there is a possibility that I may not be able to carry a pregnancy because of my head and that I could be labeled as high risk. I know there is a possibility that I may not be able to carry a pregnancy because of my head and that I could be labeled as high risk."

"Everyone is scared for the child and yours as much as it is a legitimate worry if you are already thinking about the child now, you won't repeat the pattern even if you kept the child. Right now, everything is still new but I know many girls your age don't even think about the child, which you are. I don't know much about adoptions or anything but if you want me to help you I can."

"I'm not sure now but I'll let you know. I know Leo wants me to wait until we know I can keep the pregnancy but I don't know your schedule or if I have to find another one. I would love it if you were my doula when I give birth and I am willing to pay the fee to use you."

"I would love to be your doula but I wasn't expecting you to ask so early let alone to be your actual doula. I assumed I would be asked to just be in there as a by standard like most mothers and significant others not to mention the other people in the room that's not a doula or a medical person. To be honest I will not charge as a regular client since you has been through too much and if you said that you could keep it I would advocate a doula because of your brain damage."

"Will I be charged?"

"Yes, but you'll have several discounts one being a familial discount, a discount because of the doctor unless you change, and several more. I will view you as a client than what I would consider a daughter than if you just came to me saying I want you in the room with me and not be your Doula. I know for your particular doctor, he will request so many discounts for the doulas to where it is affordable for teens and people who can't afford the whole price. Now if you used a maternity concierge I would have to charge you the full price and I don't like them one bit. Though this wasn't the reason I wanted to talk to you alone but it is a good thing to talk about."

"Then what was the subject?"

"I know a two of distant cousins are going announce something big sometime in the day and we all think they are pregnant. We normally don't do this but we are to go around this and make announcements and with yours being a delicate situation, I thought you needed to be told. Then again this seems to be more of a reunion for the family than what we expected."

"Ok, thanks for the heads up."

At that, the ferry leaves since this does have a schedule to run but they like to have more people on it before leaving the dock. We go into the main area and I sit beside Leo who is talking to Tim but at least Tim didn't ask if I was pregnant or not. Though, he did get me in the conservation even if I came in the middle of it. It isn't about anything major but what the tabloids are publishing and that they are questioning if I am pregnant. Seriously, I want to ignore them right now since what he brought isn't much deviation from that I normally wear when I'm in school or stage. Not to mention I don't want to wear tight clothes right now since I have insecurities that I can keep under wraps most of the time just not now and a few other times. This time around is stemming from the most recent rape so I hate to wear very clingy clothes. My PR doesn't contact me about the rumors unless family members like the bastard triplets or so called family talks to these people so I know what is going on. And besides even on stage and on a normal basis I don't wear very tight clothes other than skinny jeans the rest are fitted but not tight or very clingy. It is just that day I was heading to a belly dancing class that I found awhile back but haven't had the chance other than now to go because of school.

In a few minutes we get to the island, we set up the picnic area but Carlo, and I head to our fishing grounds with fishing hats on. Though, my fishing hat is just a baseball hat. Carlo keeps my stuff since I really don't want in my apartment due I can't drive me so it would be easier for them to be at his place. Do I want them at my place? A little bit so, Marcus just has to drive me but I do go with Carlo so there are 2 people to watch me in case I faint and the hook becomes a danger. Seriously, Carlo is a little bit taller than Marcus being 6'3" is but they can both carry me to safety especially if we are at the beach. Leo comes down and sits on a chair for extra safety and the rest are at the picnic site.

"So how are things going?" asks Marcus? "I know you had to get a tutor and all but are it that bad?"

"I faint once a day right now so it is merely a precaution than anything else since with the second CD still being recorded, the trial, school, and the pregnancy I will be much stressed. You know how I get when I'm stressed so I could easily make it worse," I reply.

"True, and please don't hesitate to come over if needed since this is new to everyone and no matter what you need family around you. I know your aunt and uncle has an open house policy with you as well like us considering you do live alone and you've been through so much. I know you'll have to get Leo, Marcus, or Jasmine to drive you but we'll love to have you over more."

"Thanks and my aunt and uncle want me over more since their house is deserted since all their kids are out on their own. Shin Il and Eun Sun are in Korea, Dong Sun is in San Francisco as a chef, and Mi Cha is at Harvard Law school and to graduate this year with her law degree. She is looking for a job there after school so she'll be the third farthest. I'm the only one close to them that is not hour's drive or a plane ride away."

"Have you guys talked since you found out?"

"Yeah, this past Wednesday and they aren't mad which being Asian I thought they would be pissed off despite me being raped. Then again my mom was a young parent so that may have something to do with it but she wasn't a teenager."

"Sue, your reaction when you told us are not most pregnant people having unless yes they are in your situation then it is a very difficult situation. If this was unplanned and was Leo's we'd be disappointed and your family will probably be mad. But this situation it lends itself to where your involvement was minimal to get pregnant making it very impossible to be mad at you. We are mad at the person who did this to and they are probably mad at him as well for several reasons and one being we all thought you were in the clear from any type of abuse or sexual assault to you."

I nod my head and Uncle Jin Sang and Aunt Sun Hee said the same thing but that doesn't help the sting I feel. I have been to my therapist since the rape once a week and I feel like I may want to bump it up more since I'm getting a tutor since me writing songs aren't helping that much. Yes, song writing is a way to help me cope with my emotions and things going around me but things like this it help but not enough. Sure, I'm still in the numb phase but that will last for only so long before I move on to the next phase. Leo and everyone around me are just there for me and they will support my decision even if they think it is wrong to do.

After awhile we stop talking about the pregnancy and we end up catching a few fish but after my 3rd fish, I decide I better call it quit for the day. At the picnic area, I fillet the fish and King Henry comes up to me from what I can see in the corner of my eye. We talk about a few things but it seems Tim has filled him in what I have gone through my entire life so I try to shut it down soon since I don't want to talk about it much with people around. Sorry but I don't know who will tell the media and it seems he wants to kill these people so I left out names so he isn't charged for murder. I even tell him that right now he isn't king of anything and will be convicted of murder if he plans to kill the people who harmed me. I seriously have no clue what truly is going on and thank goodness, Tim doesn't know I'm pregnant.

The picnic goes well and yes, two of the women announce that they are pregnant at lunch time but most of us pass on the announcements including me since Leo already announced that we are going through a hard time. Leo and I do leave before dinner since I am starting not to feel good so it is better we leave now before I faint then have to explain in details about my medical conditions. At the house, we get dinner and have a relaxing evening even if I did faint before I went to bed.

Over the next 1-2 weeks, I work on what I need to for school, the trial, and the band but the morning sickness dictates what I can do and so forth. But I have to admit I can go at my own pace with the tutor so in the first 2 weeks we get ahead of the actual curriculum at Newman's Academy for the 11th grade. This is normal for me even when I'm on tour so I have to have the same tutor for everything. Right now, there is a reason for this I want my school year to almost be over when I give birth if I can carry a pregnancy. Though, that also plays a role when the trial is since the defense wanted more time to prepare thereby waiving, according to the ADA, to a speedy trial. For the book, I've done all the feeling exercises and now other than sending me messages but also as a pregnancy book tailored for this type of pregnancy, which thank goodness will mimic a human pregnancy not an angelic pregnancy.

Right now, it is early morning and my tutor called in sick so I'm finishing up a rough outline of the band's song list for hopefully our next tour this summer. The second CD is fully recorded and we got the ok for it a few days ago. The band's manager is working on getting a photo session and 1st music video done sometime in the early spring late winter. He does know as of right now so the dates are either right after school ends, 12 weeks after, or 100 days after which will affect to some degree my senior year and doing a few days with the Wrapped Tour. Sure my morning sickness is bugging me since I'm 6 weeks pregnant and today is Friday with my Neurologist appointment at 2 and my ob/gyn appointment at 3 and Leo is hoping to make it for my ob/gyn but school gets out at 3. Marcus comes in my study and sets down what smells like green tea before lifting my head from the set list.

"Thanks, Marcus," I state looking at the time and it is only 10.

"You're welcome, and we'll be leaving at 1 to get to the hospital even if they are across from the street from each other. Are you going to stay in here all day until then?"

"I'm hoping not to but I want to search for adoption agencies if I get the news that I can carry a pregnancy and then I can give a family a gift. I don't want to mess up this child's life by repeating what I've been through and I don't think I'm emotionally ready for it yet. So it might take awhile, Marcus."

"If you need anything just ask for it."

"I will"

Marcus leaves and I pour a cup before diverting my attention to the main computer in the apartment and I do a search on adoption agency. It is mostly for their mission statements, hours of operation, and exactly how they are perceived. Really, I'm hoping for a closed adoption but that may change over the course of the pregnancy so I want options now. I write a few numbers down for tomorrow before noon and I decide I have had enough time on the computer. We have lunch before leaving and the neurologist office the nurses are at least trying to keep the subjects on my medical problems. My neurologist, Dr. Adam Carey, comes in and goes over the file before saying anything like normal which is similar to my endocrinologist, but unlike my therapist and ob/gyn.

"When are you seeing Dr. Beaumont?" he asks.

"The appointment is today at 3," I reply. "It is just for options and so I can air my grievances about the pregnancy to him if I can carry the child to term without major medical problems that would put one if not both of us at risk. Medical reasons are the only reason I would consider abortion."

"Ok, well I don't see your head being a medical reason to consider an abortion if that is what you are going after. You and your boyfriend would have talked to us both when you two were to get married just so you guys would understand the complications presented during your pregnancy. Really on my end, there is nothing more I can do to help you in the normal pregnancy stuff but I will monitor your head. That being said there are going to be complications that will aggravate your head the most prevalent since whenever you get sick your head bugs you would be morning sickness and in the initial part the increase blood flow to make you faint. Preeclampsia will be risky since that is very risky to begin with therefore I would like to take preventative measures to make sure you don't get it granted you didn't get it when you were pregnant at 13 despite only being 21 weeks. The other thing, I have to work with Dr. Beaumont for the labor since it could go either way and I will place restrictions. In my point of view there is no way you have to abort, you'll just take more precautions than most pregnant moms will. Other than medical issues with the pregnancy, do you have questions for me?"

"Not really, since you answered what I wanted to know from you."

"Ok, just relay the message to Leo when you see him since he most likely is in school right now. I'll see you in probably 2 months since I don't want a lot of checkups unless needed. But if your head gets worse call me first then your ob/gyn."

"Of course"

At that, we leave and we have a half an hour before my next appointment but I still sign in anyways since I have nothing else better to do. I play on my phone and at 3:15 Leo comes in since the birth center is running a little behind then again nothing unusual to be a few minutes late.

"Susanna Rizzo," states a nurse and I get in but Leo follows me soon after he got in maybe a minute later.

The nurses do what they need to get along with blood before I'm left in the room with Leo though he is trying to keep his eyes closed because I have to wear a gown facing in the wrong direction. It is amusing since he never wants to come to these appointments but then again I was never pregnant with them.

"So what did Dr. Carey, say about you carrying child?" asks Leo.

"It could be done, though with pregnancy complications could affect my brain," I remember. "He didn't say it would be fatal to the child or me. I still want to hear our Dr. Beaumont but things are looking good for me to carry a pregnancy to term. And you don't have to close your eyes since you've seen me fully naked."

"Sorry but school was very tiring with people asking about you since you aren't going to be there for a full year and then some. Rumors are flying like crazy mostly because of the paparazzi pictures of you for these past few weeks and the situation you were put in. Not only that but I believe Tim knows you are pregnant and has told Henry which I'm not too pleased about since Tim wanted to talk us out of abortion. Sorry but this decision to an abortion is medically sounded."

"I know, but I don't recall telling him I was pregnant so he has to have inferred it someway unless you told him."

"I didn't but Henry is very funny since he wants to get the people who hurt you and doesn't seem to really care if you are or not."

At that, Dr. Elliot Beaumont comes in and he smiles at us.

"Good afternoon, Susanna, Leonardo," he greets. "So what can I do to help put your minds at ease with this choice? I know you had your appointment with Dr. Carey earlier today since it was a rushed fax and that he helped you as much as he could."

"I just want to know is there a medical reason that I wouldn't be able to carry a child to full term? If both of us are at risk for one of us dying then I don't want to go through this pregnancy." I reply.

"Ah the questions that was to be answered after you graduated high school. There is no medical reason why both of your lives would be in danger that would justify you to get an abortion. Sure, your head will play a lot in your pregnancy but as long as you don't get preeclampsia, we should be good for anything that could take your life or the child's. You have a normal risk factor of a first time mom to get preeclampsia since you had a still born at 21 weeks, which it doesn't normally show up that early even though it can. Other than that, I see no reason how your head will cause your death or a child's death. Your first was a wonder how he even survived to 21 weeks with so many chromosomal problems from incest. It wasn't your fault or your bodies fault though it does mean you could have the possibility going into preterm labor."

"Ok, when I give birth what are my chances that I will faint?"

"We are going to keep that down as far as chances go. That means you'll have less choices how you'll give birth and it has to be rather rigid which I'm not exactly thrilled about. About the safest, for you to faint are to do a c-section but here's the thing you may not be able to have an epidural or a spinal block therefore will be put under and it is major surgery. The next will be a water birth since one you'll be sitting in a tub and you can eat throughout it therefore minimizing fainting risk. Unless we need to continuously need monitor you, I don't want you on your back laboring and pushing since that increases it way too much. That is what happened when you were 13 but it was an emergency and nothing could have been done. I want to avoid an emergency as much as I can and then I will have you in an emergency c-section. You don't need to make this choice right now but it is good for you to know early on so everything can be in place for when the day comes. Also, I will not let you go past your due date because of your head. If you get to your due date and no progress has been made you'll automatically have a c-section since as the baby grows bigger it could cause problems with your head. With that question, I take it you have made up your mind if you want the abortion or not?"

"Correct, I can't go through it and really I was hoping there wasn't a medical reason to abort since it would be a way to justify the abortion. In good conscious, I can't go through with it even if resulted from a rape and I'm scared of repeating what I went through as a kid but I'm not going to kill a baby forming in me for no good reason. Sure for some being raped is a good enough reason to abort it but not to me since I've been through too much and have a head problem. I'm going to look into adoption so if you have pamphlets on agencies or something I would love to have them."

"I can have the receptionist give you pamphlets on the way out. But please go through every option that you do have available to you and not rule one out because of your past. I know you want to break the cycle that you went through and want to put the kid first but you also need to think who everything is going to affect you as you did with the abortion. Adoption is not easy even if it is a beautiful and selfless thing, and I'm sure you can talk to your therapist about this and so forth. Make a choice you are comfortable with and can live with the rest of your life not some random thought that oh I'm not ready to parent yet. Everyone is scared before they become parents no matter what the age, and age has no bearing on how good you can parent. Your experience rivals some of the older moms and then some. Anything else before I go over your charts?"

"No, all my questions were about medical issues that needed to be discuss."

"Very well"

He looks over my chart before setting it down and he doesn't to seem to be well pleased but then again I have been stressed for awhile.

"Did your neurologist look at your weight?" he asks.

"He never really says unless he thinks I could faint from it being too high or too low," I reply.

"Ok, you didn't lose much since I last saw you in late May for your yearly visits but you did lose 3 pounds and I have to go by this for your starting weight in pregnancy. It is still healthy but the child needs nutrients, so I want to see a weight gain of 25-35** approximately. I understand you'll be under stress and you tend not to eat well if anything so I want to minimize you losing a lot since your head will play a factor in you losing as well. Morning sickness can be a factor or your thyroid may also need to be adjusted but I'm not too worried about the weight loss right now, unless you continue to lose weight. I just wanted to bring it up so you were aware of the weight loss right now."

"That's understandable, and I might have lost more but got a few pounds back since a few weeks ago it was very hectic."

"I heard, but I'll do a pelvic exam and then we'll see the baby. Oh and since most people do ask on the first, you are clear for any exercise you have been doing before as long as you listen to your body and the receptionist will give you lists what you have to avoid for food and drug wise. Your thyroid pill you have to continue and it is the safest you can probably take."  
He feels me up and gets the ultrasound machine since he is the only one here that is ultrasound crazy but he would have had to give me one anyway if I wanted an abortion. There are two blobs on the screen and I can't help but smile at them even if I could feel them when I'm doing angelic powers.

"They look to be right on track for 6 weeks, and it is twins. And they both have healthy heart rates, the first one is 154 and the second one is 135 so as long as everything goes fine you'll have twins either to take care of or to give to loving parents. But that means you'll need 300 more calories per baby which in your case 600 calories and actually gain 35-45 pounds**. As long as the heart rate is in the range 100-160** I consider it good and really the only health I can go on right now. So your due date is May 5, 2007 but with twins I don't know if I'll let you go to the date since twins are generally born a few weeks early**."

At that we get our things done at the appointment which was him finishing up the exam, cleaning up from it, and getting paper recommendations from Dr. Beaumont before going to the receptionist. She hands me two papers, several pamphlets, and ultrasound photos before I can make my next appointment, which I make for it when I can before getting back to my apartment. We fill in Marcus, he looks over the two lists, and I know he'll give one to Jasmine but at least I can have tea on occasion.

We get to the apartment and I see Tim with Henry in the lobby talking to the bell boy as to where I live. Tim spots me and we go up to them but it is a very awkward silence since what Leo told me about what happened at school today. At my apartment, Tim finally breaks the silence and I know what is going to happen.

"Are you pregnant? Are you thinking about aborting the child?" he yells.

"Tim, calm down," I reply. "And yes I am pregnant from the rape but as for having an abortion I have made up mind. If I were to have, one it would be for medical reasons that one of our lives if not both would be in grave danger. I'm not having one since there is my head posses no death threats to me or the child forming in me. Now if you want to yell at me more, you will be kicked out!"

"Wait so the rumors that you were going to abort in school weren't true?"

"Most likely it became a rumor from a statement from one of the other kids in the school saying they would abort if they were in my situation. I have to get passed this numb and denying stage to get the ball rolling but I have eight months to fully make my decision what I'm fully going to do. And you aren't making the decision for me, either one of you. This is not way back in the day in England where I'm property but 21st century America."

I end up going to the fridge and dumping a part of a jar of kimchi in a bowl before sitting down and eating it since somehow I'm hungry and want this now. Leo takes Tim to the den most likely to set boundaries since this was not the best thing he can do. Henry is looking at me and I just gulp down a piece of food.

"I can give you some if you want to try it," I start. "It's really good. But that's not what you want to hear do you?"

"No," he replies courtly.

"Then ask me anything but I will not betray Leo, we are dating. Sorry, but I know a lot of history and you my friend were a part of that and aren't supposed to be in this century."

"I want to see if you gave more thought to have them executed of the people that hurt you."

"Kind of, it will be murder and one is being taken by the government right now so that is out of the question. The other three as much as I would love them dead but I don't want you to end up in jail here where you don't belong in a most likely backed up death sentence let alone finding those bastards. The girl ran away I after this came to a head according to the defendant and I don't know where the boys are. And before you say anything, I know the ramifications that this could happen and I would love to see them behind bars but I don't want to take the law in my own hands. That wills also very bad results for me even if it is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. You aren't a ruler here, so get that through your thick skull."

"You're good, I was only coming here to ask you that not to know if you were pregnant or not. Tim also said not to expect you tell me anything so this is a pleasant surprise."

"I'm only telling you since it are public information other than that you aren't going to get much. I don't trust you and we aren't alone so you are being watched to make sure you do nothing to me but then again from what it seems you never raped a woman but rather a big philanderer, aka womanizer since you want a son. But you should really set a better example for your kid and any future kids now as much as this is falling on a deaf ear."

"So why wouldn't you go with me or Tim instead of Leo?"

"Because I want to be with Leo and I don't want to say any more."

He lifts his eyes, Tim comes out, and they leave so Leo comes to my side and we kiss but I'm still not done with my Kimchi. Leo sighs before laying his head back.

"So what did you and Henry talk about?" inquires Leo.

"Him still wanting to hunt down the people who hurt me and how it would have tragic responses since he is just a normal guy in this day in age," I reply eating more kimchi. "So your talk with Tim didn't go so well if you are acting like this?"

"No, he wanted to know why we didn't tell everyone in our family sooner let alone why even with medical conditions that we would think of an abortion. If you or the child is not safe and that is the only option, we have to take it, which thankfully we don't. I didn't tell him that you were thinking about adoption since that is a whole other fight with him which I don't want now since are you not sure what you want to do. I mean adoption is an option but you have to think through what is best for the baby and you."

"I know and I have awhile to decide but I don't want to wait too long since if I am keeping the child we have to get ready by setting up a nursery and so forth. With the adoption, again this shouldn't be put off to the last minute since I/we need to find the adoptive family and they need to get prepared for a child to come into their lives as well. But what do you feel about me giving the child up for adoption?"

"It's a good option but I don't know if I will be able to put my child up for adoption but I wasn't the one that was raped and got pregnant from it. I don't know how much of a voice I have in this situation other than listening to you even if I am your boyfriend and so forth. But I wouldn't do much for today for the decision let alone this week since the news still needs to sink in and make a decision once everything in your mind is settled that you are going to give birth. This isn't the best place to really make a decision even if you can start thinking on it now just not making a rushed decision."

"I know, but also I don't want you to feel like you have to parent the child if I keep her since she isn't your child biologically. But it doesn't negate that we are boyfriend and girlfriend so I think you should have a say in this as well unless you don't plan on being in the child's life."

"I want to be in it and I get where you are coming from saying that I should have a say. But I'm not the one carrying the child, I wasn't the one that was raped, and I'm not the one who is worried to death about repeating her past. Ultimately this decision is yours and yours alone, I'm just glad that you can carry a pregnancy to term even if you give this child up for adoption it green lights us to have a family of our own once we are married."

"I know but you are going to be the surrogate/step dad in the child's life meaning to me you have a say even if legally you don't. Oh and child or her I mean children and them."

"I know, you are just flustered with everything and learning it is twins it is a daunting task. Sweetheart, I'm going to be here for you no matter what and I love you but you need to slow down for once and think of your health. Stressing can't be good for the twins you are carrying and you'll have enough stress later on that can't be avoided since they pushed back the trial."

"I love you too, Leo, and thanks for the reminder. I don't even know how far back it was pushed but I will know tomorrow since I'm to meet with the ADA around 10 to figure out the date and to fill her in on the news. I don't know how this will affect the trial but I don't want to be in my 3rd trimester when the trial happens since I could go into labor and not make it to be called as a witness."

At that, I mutter dad before breaking down which is in part of the hormones and I really want my dad with me during this time. At that, one of my cats jumps on my lap, which they have been doing for a few weeks now, and Leo wraps his arms around me as I cry. It hits me hard right now that this is really happening and I'm passing from the numb stage even if I was said when I first learned about me being pregnant. This crying however is not because I'm pregnant it is because I want my dad and my mom here with me through this time but they are dead.

"It's going to be alright?" soothes Leo. "Everything will work itself out in time."

"I know but I want my mom and dad," I reply.

"Sweetheart, they are watching over you even if they can't be here physically. They wanted you to be alive and protected you in any way they could. I know you want them here but there is no way they can be here for the birth, is that why you broke down crying?"

I nod my head and he pets my hair before I finally calm down from the crying. The next following weeks goes fine and I end up finding the start date which is close to my due date so the ADA wants to see if they can push it up or back so there is no risks of me not being there to testify. I did tell my band what is going on and that I'm looking into an adoption ok so maybe not really looking into it anymore since I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I have an adoptive couple that I was matched with when I 13 weeks pregnant. But I did lose one of the twins for some reason or another but we weren't aware of it until my second ultrasound. Other than that, everything has been going smoothly for the first half of my pregnancy but I know it will get much rougher so I'm trying to finish my junior year up early.

* * *

AN: * wiki/Human_height#Average_height_around_the_world

**Can be found on either babycenter or what to expect when you're expcting (Please search I'm not putting both of the full website since that will x amount of links and they will most likely have the same info).


	7. Half Way Through During Christmas Break

_Half Way Through During Christmas Break_

_To my fans: Sorry I haven't been updating much on the bands blog on what is happening with me and the last update was when I confirming the rumors that I was raped. Well it is almost Christmas and I have been able to slow down with getting ready for the next CD released in the summer and the trial. Well I have news that will also affect the tour for this CD since well I got pregnant from the rape so expect the tour dates to be posted sometime after my due date May 5__th__. Yes, I know that is late but unfortunately I'm looking at my options but either way I'll need recovery time. Now this also fall very close to the trial dates, which did get pushed forward some, but not a lot and we have to take that in consideration as well when setting up this tour. I'll try to update before the trial and my due date but I can't promise anything so at least expect a major update when the tour dates are set and I'll give you more news on the pregnancy and the trial. Have a Merry Christmas~ Susanna Young Mi Rizzo_

I post it and I wish I hadn't waited so late but unfortunately even if things went smoothly I was so busy with everything that it had to calm down to update. My band has a blog on the website and I normally do a lot of updates for the band itself but this is more personal to me so Kai have been taking it over but hasn't addressed tour dates. It is late at night so I yawn and head to bed after posting it with a picture of my belly. My belly isn't that big and I'm not really showing but I need to post it before I totally forget and I give birth. I think it is because of my height that I'm not really showing since the baby has more space to grow than if I were shorter despite having long legs and a short torso. My torso leg ratio has been measured to be around 1.4*. But I do have a nice little bump. I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow for an autonomy scan and to find the gender so the adoptive couple will be there and hopefully Leo. I start to dream as soon as my head hits the pillow and it isn't a good one.

•Dream•

It appears that I'm around 10-11 years old and I'm chained back on my bed when I was a kid and I see Jason's and Nathan's face smirking at me. But I can feel most likely a toy in me and an indescribable feeling at that age which is why they are smirking in my face as I squirm for everything to stop. Their laughs fill the room then everything becomes black and the three voices are telling me that I'm a no good slut, a murderer, and several other things that make me cry very loud.

•End dream•

I wake up in a cold sweet and I look at the clock to see only an hour has passed since I fell asleep. I feel the child moving in me and I put my hand over the growing baby to see if she is stressed out and what not but she isn't but up since, I'm not moving. I smile and before going back to bed, Leo comes in the room meaning he is going to fake being a sleep.

"Everything alright?" asks Leo thinking I was asleep.

"I had a nightmare from when I was a kid," I reply. "I wasn't screaming in my sleep was I?"

"No, just the way you looked had me worried but at least you are fine and it is just a dream. Do you want anything to help you calm down?"

"Water might do the trick."

He nods his head and gets me a glass of water, I fall back asleep at that, and the dreams thank goodness are better. Leo does lie beside me but I know he won't sleep since he just wants to be close to me. It is a pleasant night sleeping but when the alarm to wake up goes off a 6 am. At that, Leo gets out of bed and kisses my forehead since he still has to go to school until Wednesday. My tutor already called a Christmas break this past Friday since I'm months ahead.

"Go back to sleep," he states. "The appointment isn't until four so you have all day to relax so take it."

"I can't the alarm woke me up and I think I was going to wake up anyways. Either way the apartment needs decorated for Christmas since it keeps getting put off so I have plans to do that today as much as I can along with making cookies. I'm at least going to back snickerdoodles right now and a few more over the week. If you got suggestions I will make them when I can."

"Mmm, snickerdoodles, I don't know but don't over work yourself but I'll see you after class and we'll go to the appointment and dinner. And you little rose, be nice to her meaning you aren't to kiss her ribs or keeping her up when she is trying to take a nap."

We kiss and he kisses the growing belly before leaving the room since I probably will stay in here for awhile at least trying to get more rest and won't be out until he is gone. Yeah, my little Rose had other ideas, woke up herself, and now is moving like crazy and since I'm not very tired, I can't fall asleep. So instead, I put my hand over my stomach to see if I can calm her down but it doesn't help at all but makes her presence known more. I know she can probably hear me by now and according to the book that the child loves the bonding time before I give birth and will interact with it but she does the opposite what I ask. So I end up playing just feeling her in utero as much as this is bonding and will hurt me when I place her for adoption, I just can't help myself with this. After an hour, I get ready for the day and I was right Leo was gone so I make an omelet for myself as Marcus gets the Christmas decorations in the living room to organize by which room they go to. Normally we have the apartment ready for Christmas much earlier than this but with everything going on this year it was pushed back. Yes, I do have gifts all done meaning I just need to decorate and wrap the presence along with expecting Mario and his family to come late today. I get into the living room once I clean up my stuff to help Marcus.

"Mistress Rizzo, I thought you'd be sleeping in by now," he greets. "Do you need me to make you breakfast?"

"No, I made it myself and put the things away. So what needs to be done otherwise I'm going to start making snickerdoodles."

"I have it handled in here so you can start making the batter and if I need anything I'll let you know and let me know if you need help."

"Of course"

At that, I get back into the kitchen and grab the ingredients that I need to make snickerdoodles and start on it. By the time, I'm done with the batter someone keeps ringing the doorbell meaning a person is pushing the top floor as they are in the elevator. The person is normally Paul so Rex goes to the gate and opens it since it is in front of the elevator door. As soon as the door opens, it is my band along with Henry and Catherine before I get my cookie sheets out to put them into back.

"Something smells like snickerdoodles," starts Paul.

"I'm just about to back them," I reply. "Marcus is in the living room setting up the tree and I'm backing cookies so if you guys want to help you can go into one of the two places but I don't want many people here. Too many cooks in the kitchen ruins the pot."

"Well I'm filming a movie for YouTube so I'm not going to be much help," adds Paul getting out a camera.

"Besides that," interrupts Kai. "Have you updated your blog on the pregnancy?"

"Yes, last night, obviously it was later than we all probably wanted but with everything going on it was my only time. It probably won't be updated again until I give birth and the trial is over unless I do finish my junior year early and don't jump into my senior year. Even then if I get done and don't start the next year I'll be busy with the trial even if I'm like 3 months a head right now and it is only late December. I'm glad I only have 3 months to go but I still have a lot to do that is not school related. Oh and has our manager contacted you about the pictures and video?"

"Yeah, you forgot about it?"

"Kind of, I wrote it down but I just need to know if it is coming soon?"

"It will be in April the month before the trial and your due date as much as you will be big but it will give time for the pictures to get edited and the video to work out the situations. You set it up in April remember?"

"Pregnancy brain, can I blame it on that?"

"Yes, and your stress, you seriously need a day just to yourself that you aren't doing Christmas, the band, school, or the trial," adds André. "Rosemary is more than happy to be your concierge even if you are in the admits of an adoption but you need time for yourself and to enjoy this pregnancy. You aren't doing that let alone getting ready if you or they fall through."

I smile at that and they go on their own but Paul puts the camera in my face.

"Merry Christmas, Buon Natale, Meli Keuliseumaseu**, Feliz Navidad," I state into the camera.

"Very nice," replies Paul. "You couldn't have thought of anything else could you?"

"You didn't give my any direction so I thought you wanted me to say Merry Christmas."

"Fine, I'll go film the others but are you going to make more cookies today?"

"I don't know I may but it will depend if I can get the stuff cleaned from the snickerdoodle and not get sucked into the tree."

Paul leaves and I continue what I'm doing but Catherine joins me and I just show her what I'm doing and we talk during this time. It is about random stuff but she does have questions about today's pregnancy, which I'm more than glad to fill her in what can be done. I have a feeling she lost a lot of pregnancies but other than determine what is causing miscarriage after several there still that isn't done if you are going to miscarry. I know it doesn't help her considering the time she was in and the demand for her to produce a male heir, which right now from what I've seen we need no heir but there is a slight preference for one gender or the other or so I see. Then again, most of the pregnant women I've been around are a lot older than me and they want to complete their families or just starting out.

"So, does Leo want this to be anything?" asks Katherine.

"He keeps saying he but then again what man doesn't want a baby boy but he says he'll be wrapped around the little finger if it is a girl," I reply. "Then again a lot of people when I say I'm pregnant say that I look like I'm having a boy which I don't particularly agree with. Then again, at least here, there isn't a very heavy pressure of having a male unless you are in a family that wants you to have a male or have all daughters then there might be a greater pressure to have a boy. But there is no need for here to have a male heir. Then again in today's world we know how sex determination works and it isn't from the females but I'm afraid if I go any further I will hurt the space time continuum."

She chuckles at that since it is a legitimate concern of mine.

"But thank you for helping me with these cookies even if they don't take too long to make."

"You're welcome and thank you for talking to me. Just for my curiosity though, this isn't Leo's child is it?"

"No, we are avoiding pregnancy until both of has at least finished high school so he used condoms and I with the help of Jasmine tracked my cycles so we never had sex even with a condom when I was ovulating. She was from the rape that I sustained in mid-August and I don't want to repeat what happened to me on her thereby making my problems hers. Though, I would love a child just not now. I'm not ready to be a mother."

She just looks at me, we finish backing the snickerdoodles, and my band comes in at that to swipe a few for them. I don't mind but I don't want them to take every cookie that I bake and have none for Christmas. The rest of the day goes well and the apartment finally gets decorated and I did get another cookie batch particularly Leo's favorite chocolate chip cookies. They leave at 2 so Marcus and I clean up all the dishes that I have made from the cookies before I have to go to my appointment since I already have the gift for the adoptive couple ready. During clean up my little rose is moving away and playing a few things since I'm not moving much and I just had a big meal.

"The baby moving?" asks Marcus.

"Yeah, she was also very active this morning," I reply. "It's going to be tough giving her up but I'm just not ready to be a mother."

"I don't think anyone is truly ready to be a parent even if the child is planned or unplanned and yours is much unplanned. What I can't do is force you to do one thing or another but you are afraid of something that you have been trying to stop the cycle of before you even got pregnant. To me that seem to be a step back in the healing process for you since you will be a good mother because you are thinking of the child instead of you. That being said, you are thinking with your head, which is very noble, and not with your heart for this and many other things in your life. Thinking with your head is a good thing instead of with your heart or emotions but this is one decision considering you have the money and working on yourself to be mentally stable even before this child this decision for you should be based with your heart. If this was a place where you could not afford a child or have a decent place to live then how make the decision should be different."

"I know everyone has an opinion about it and there are people who want me to keep this child and I respect what you are saying but I feel adoption is the best choice. I'm still in school, I have my band that I don't think will slow down anytime soon, and other things that I need to take care of nowhere in it was a plan to have a baby let alone keep it while I'm still in school and this young. I'm still working on my past, what just happened, and the death of my dad in front of my eyes. I don't think I'm ready at all mentally which will mean I might repeat the cycle of the abuse I've been through since I was 4 to 12 years old."

"I get where you are coming from and everything but would this choice be different if your dad and mom still lived and you never been through the abuse you did? I know this would be a different situation and possibly different answers compared to this situation you are in right now. You have support if you want to keep her and not many are keen on you giving the child up for adoption even if they are supporting you."

"I would keep the child if I had the means to but I wouldn't rely on my parents even if they were to help me. This child is my responsibility and no one else's responsibility but then again it would depend on the situation. If it were a rape like this, I would again still look into adoption and go through with it until I feel that I can't but if I willingly had sex and got pregnant, I would keep the child. Now if Leo and I got pregnant together even before this child we would have to discuss and come up with a joint decision so I couldn't answer either way but I think we would end up keeping the child."

"Thank you for covering answers to questions I was going to ask but please think about adoption more before literally signing the papers. There is no way on going back then but I know you know that but it needs to be said again."

"I know"

We finish the dishes and I head to a room that we don't use but I always go to it when I have news for my dead parents. It is just white where there are walls but it all windows that used to be a sitting room from my understanding when my parents were alive. I don't know why but I always feel comfortable here like my parents reside here or something but then again it could be the scenery of the city with the room. I sit in one of the whicker chairs in the room and just look out.

"Mom, dad, do you think I'm making the right decision with the adoption?" I ask in the thin air. "I'm half way through this pregnancy, I have the trial coming up, and I don't have much time to make the decision in this half. I miss you guys even if I never knew you, mom, and I hope you guys wherever you are having a Merry Christmas."

I stay in the room until Leo comes and find me once he is out of the school uniform meaning we need to leave. Grabbing the gift for the adoptive couple Leo and I head down and he smiles at me even if I'm still in very much thought mode. We get in the car that is just an old car that was his parents but they got a new one so he was allowed to have this when he got his drivers licenses.

"I see you made chocolate chip along with the snickerdoodles," states Leo.

"Yep, I know you love chocolate chip and the band came over along with Henry and Katherine so everything was done before 2 which is amazing though we cleaned the dishes as we went. I wasn't expecting to get done that early," I reply. "Anyways, do you think I'm making the right decision with the adoption?"

"I will go with what you want since again I don't know what else I really can do since I don't want to force you to keep the child. Do I think you are making a good decision with the adoption? Yes, do I think it is a right decision for the child, and you? I don't know we'll have to see since we don't know until this actually affects us since we are still in the process. But don't think that I won't support you if you want to change your mind and raise the child and I will be the father figure for the child. If you are second guessing the adoption then we can call the adoptive parents and the agency to tell them."

"Do you think my thoughts are valid to place the child up for adoption?"

"Yes, I do but you have confided in me many times that you are thinking with your head instead of your heart and other than me and your band for once I want to see you use your heart in a major decision that you are so wrapped up in. This is that time even if you can't see out of it but I don't know maybe the heart will help you a lot in this situation instead of always going to your head for this decision."

"Do you want a child now?"

"You know I want a child and I preferred it not to be now but I'm not going to knock it if it is now where we get our first child now despite the situation surrounding everything. I know you don't want to trap me with a child and I'm grateful for that but what if this is our only chance to have a child. You are going to be very busy with your band and who knows for how long that your head while on Earth can be able to keep up the demand on you while pregnant and post partum. I know it should be for as long as you can but as you age, it might get worse especially if you hit your head hard when you faint since they can't be controlled. Sorry I hijacked this but…"

"It needed to be said, I know, and that is the first time I asked you that in person. You know I'm scared to repeat the cycle since I don't think I'm even mentally ready or at least close enough to have a child now. No child should have to go through what I did and end up with a messed up head."

"You aren't messed up right now you are scared shitless and under stress but if we keep this child do you think you can have the middle name be your mother's if it is a girl? It can be her Korean or American name which ever you'd prefer."

"So Hannah or Hyun Jung for the middle name?"

"Yes"

"I was thinking on the same lines if that do happen but I'm leaning towards Hyun Jung since that was my mom's birth name. It is like the case with my cousins though Dong Sun just goes by Don, but the others have American nicknames Mi Cha is Michelle, Shin Il is Sean, and Eun Sun is Eleanor with another nickname Ella. I know Sean is also Shin Il's stage name and I don't think Eun Sun has a true stage name."

Leo smiles at that and we get to the appointment and sign in before the adoptive couple gets here, Selene and Robert Tesar. They hug me once they are here and feel my belly since I don't know when you'll be able to feel the baby from outside. Selena's light brown hair is mid-back and sticks straight with the gorgeous green eyes you can lay and only stands at 5'1" but she is gorgeous none the less. I have a feeling that she is a Nephilim but I can never bring it up since we are in a social setting. Robert is tall about 6'3", has copper hair that he spikes, and gold eyes that for most people don't take for granted unless they see them turn them black. For any angel it is a dead giveaway that he is a vampire that feeds on animal blood especially for me but I know he might now of Chad and Delilah.

"Susanna Rizzo," calls a nurse and we go back where they take everything down before I have to wait for Dr. Beaumont.

"You've been feeling alright?" asks Selene.

"Yes, I have been and she has been very active these past few weeks," I reply. "Do you and Robert have any speculations on the gender of the child?"

"No, but we need to talk over dinner and it may change everything around for us, recently things have been tough for us and we feel we should tell you before too much time has passed. It might mean we have to move to get back in a position we can have a child. We weren't expecting to get picked so quickly and then to fall on the hard times considering fertility problems."

"Ok, is there any way I can help this situation? Even if you have to move but at least for right now, I can help before you move. I have more than enough money that I can help out especially if it is money problems."

"Unless you can give one of us a job then we doesn't want your money and you'll probably be in a lot of trouble for hiring me, Angel. I know that you have been aware about me being a vampire since we met and I know that you are an angel around the same time. I don't want to put you in a situation where it will have us exposed," inputs Robert.

"I understand that but I have no jobs available anyways for the band and I don't run the Rizzo estate but I do know that they are hiring. It wouldn't hurt to look there for work if that is what you guys used to work in before."

"I have already applied to it," states Selene. "I have to hear back from them except the position is in NYC and we don't want to leave you but we need a job."

"My eldest brother is one of the main managers and owners in the NYC branch and I can talk to him if you want but he is probably very busy. Around this time of year even if they are hiring they are giving money to charities and getting ready for everyone to see their families until January 4th normally or if it that falls on a weekend the Monday after January 4th. So I would expect anything after the 4th since they got out yesterday and they are flying out today when their children are out for Christmas break."

"Is his name Mario Rizzo?"

"Yeah"

"Thank you for telling that so I don't worry right now to hear back until after Christmas but that is a good company especially if they give you more than a week for Christmas and New Years. I know I read I will have a 2 week vacation after a year and it pays well but I'm not holding my breath that I'm going to get it. Anyway, if we can go through with this, how is the birthing process is going to work? Who will be in it?"

"If you guys want to you can be in the room when I give birth since I'm just going to have Leo and a doula in there and thankfully my doula is Leo's mother. I know the birth center has an open policy about this and I really don't want to be the first one to hold the child if I'm giving her up. That would be in place as long as everything is ago for a natural birth but if I have to have a c-section then I don't know if anyone can be in the room since I might have to be under general anesthesia because of the brain damage I suffered from being beaten as a child."

"Thank you for the invitation," replies Selene. "We'll definitely think about it and let you know."

At that, Dr. Beaumont comes in and smiles at us before sitting down.

"Any concerns or questions?" he asks. "And I take it that these are the people that might be adopting the child?"

"Yes they are," I reply. "And do you know when feeling the child outside of the womb so Leo and the couple can feel them?"

"If you aren't feeling them now outside then it will probably be a few weeks so I take it the baby is moving a lot?"

"Yeah, like all day yesterday and she's was very active earlier today so I think she is resting right now. Also if I were to have a c-section would anyone be allowed in the room with me if I have to be put under?"

"No, it is hospital and birth center policy that if you have to have general anesthesia instead of a spinal block or epidural that no one can be in the room. I have talked to your neurologist and he feels that to be on the safe side that we do use general anesthesia with you due to where the actual brain injury is located. If a c-section were to happen, you can have whoever in the waiting room but no one can come back with you. In away I don't want that to happen but it will also have from possibly not freaking out if we have to strap your arms down considering what happened in your childhood."

"Ok, and as far as the baby either going to the nursery or be in the room with me, when is that to be decided?"

"It is too early right now in my opinion but closer to the time you give birth is when you make your final decision whether or not you want the baby in the room or not. Anything else?"

We all shake our heads no and he does look at my chart.

"I have good news, I'm not going to plaster you on the weight loss since you are back up to the starting weight since due to morning sickness was about a 10 pound loss. From here on out it should be about a pound a week to a pound and three quarters so you are in the healthy range. All and all everything is looking good for this point in your pregnancy. That being said I can measure and do the ultrasound for the anatomy scan and do you guys want to know the sex of the child?"

"I don't mind but it will depend of the adoptive couple wants to know," I add and they say that they do want to know as well.

He measures my stomach before doing the ultrasound but I did ask him why I wasn't exactly showing if it could be my height. It is that and a combination that my stomach muscles from belly dancing aren't as weak that I might be showing yet and that I only went to 21 weeks when I was 13 so it had plenty of time to heal and not to make it look like I'm obviously pregnant. Not to mention my weight gain hasn't been the greatest right now, which is another contributing factor, but I'm measuring correctly. At that, he gets the ultrasound done, he is taking measurements, and pointing things out which have everyone awing over the baby.

"Before I say what the sex does anyone have guess what the child is?" asks Dr. Beaumont.

"I keep saying she," I state. "So have a strong intuition that the baby is a girl since I am carrying her."

Selene chuckles at that but it was a pretty even split between boy and girl. He checks but the baby doesn't want to corporate with him since she is sleeping from all her moving earlier today. Well it takes a little prodding before she moves her legs and we can get a clear look but a smile comes over my face before Dr. Beaumont says anything.

"Well, it is a little girl, so Susanna and the adoptive mother were correct about the sex. I will have the pictures up at the reception and I'll see you, Susanna, in 4 more weeks since everything looks all right and you are on track. You guys can give the office a call if you have any questions as always and try not to stress out too much."

At that, he leaves after shaking the hands of Selene and Robert as I get the gel off my belly and get my pants back in place before leaving. I get my next appointment set up and we end up going to the mall to look since we are planning to go to dinner around 6. Selene and I are in a private section of a baby store looking at things as Leo and Robert went to another store for what they say will be a surprise.

"Selene, I can't help but wondering, but are you a Nephilim?" I ask in a very hush tone once I know no people are around due to my hearing but if humans come, they can't hear.

"Yes, I am, my mom married an angel," she replies. "I am the eldest of my siblings but I'm the only girl so I'm not as wild as my brothers. What has helped them a lot is that our dad was with us even now to help with our wild side otherwise it wouldn't be so peaceful. But unfortunately not a lot of angels stay with a human mate since it is normally the teenagers just getting to know better than to leave a pregnant human with their offspring. But we aren't as bad as some other half human half mythological offspring especially the dhampirs. The fathers normally leave and the birth not many women survive. And to be honest with you, when we came the first time you met us we were removing our family since there was no way we could have a human baby in the house. I am able to have kids if I didn't have a PCOS making it harder for me to get pregnant so our option while he was human was to adopt but we weren't chosen until you came. A nephilim is more ok for the house but I'm still kind of worried and worried if I do get pregnant what creature we will have."

"I understand your reasoning but I take it he was turned probably no more than 2 years ago then?"

"It's been a little over a year and it took me awhile to find him since we were vacationing in the Forks, WA to La Push, WA area in late November and someone bit him and took him. We left as soon as I found him to hide out and to get him to conform to the vampire laws but whatever happened they were starting a newborn army over a year ago. He was never a part of it since whoever the person was didn't get to him in time that I did. Anyways, you sure you want to do this. I have a feeling that either someone is forcing you to do this or you are fighting your heart."

"I'm sure and no one is forcing me to do adoption other than myself and yes I am fighting my heart since I don't want to repeat my childhood on to her. I was abused as a kid and I'm trying to do what is best for her since I'm not mentally ready to have a child whatsoever and then how she came about. It's not something I really wish I had to deal with and I don't want to put my problems on to her."

"You are being a parent in this situation to point it out to you and this I heavily believe you also to be in with all your heart and not fight it otherwise you are going to either back out the last second or make the process for you even more painful. I never believe you'll back out so you'll probably hurt yourself more in the long run than anything will and it is a good reason but normally most people see that. You acknowledge to us that you were in therapy for years and still are. We don't believe you did make this choice despite bang only finishing her first trimester when we met was a rushed decision. And before you say anything we aren't looking a gift horse in the mouth, it's just that we are worried for you mentally considering everything."

"You asked, I answered. But are you sure I can't give you some money to help you guys until one of you can find a job?"

"Yes, we're sure about but we need to go over our finances to even make sure we have money to raise a child right now. We don't know if we have to back out now or not and we want to give you enough time frames to know so another plan can be formed. But I suggest until we give our final answer to wait and find another couple if you really want to do adoption."

"Ok, thanks for telling me. But I would like to know where the boys are?"

"I can't tell you other than I think Leo and Robert are doing last minute Christmas shopping. Robert always does this since he puts it off last second so I'm not worried since the most likely don't want us to know about it. Just for my information, how long have you known Leo?"

"I've known Leo for pretty out whole lives friend wise, we've been dating since I was 15 almost 16 so it has been over 2 years since we actually were boyfriend and girlfriend. What about you and Robert?"

"We've dated for 4 years during college and have been married for 3 years right after I graduated since he is older than me by 3 years so to speak. In other words we've known each other for 7 years, we want a children so badly and I know a friend tried years ago when a 13 year girl was pregnant from an awful situation that lead her to be in a 3 month coma but end up having a still born in a small town on the east side. She didn't tell me her name considering her half siblings…"

"That girl was me so I know the story all too well and I didn't even know it was still born for awhile since I fainted during the birthing process. I know have progressed far from that, time but I still not see me as far as needed for me to have children. It was the worst 8 years of my life and they still haven't gotten their punishment for abusing me."

"Oh my, I am sorry for all of that and I know they were disappointed they couldn't adopt but they knew at that age the choice was out of everybody's hands. They never knew what was wrong with the child but were grateful that you did survive that since I guess when you fainted were worried that you wouldn't make it."

"Everyone was including the doctor but it was ruled that the position I was in didn't help me from not fainting meaning other than my brain damage from my past there was nothing medically wrong to cause it. It wasn't even that long of a labor so they knew food wasn't the problem, which would be the lack of nutrition but me being on my back I have a higher chance to faint if I'm laboring and pushing. This time around as long as nothing unexpected comes up, the birth center is pushing for a birth that doesn't cause me to faint and working heavily with my neurologist. It will create a healthier environment all around if I'm not on the verge of fainting."

She nods her head and we get a few things before meeting up with Leo and Robert in the center of the mall at 6 so we can meet up with my brother and his family. We get to the Cheesecake Factory, I see Mario outside of the restaurant talking to Nicholas as Wilfred, and Emmaline sit on the bench only to raise their heads to see me and start waiving wildly. I laugh at that.

Nicholas is 5'9", 30 years old and was born on November 26. He has straight thick auburn hair that is more reddish than brown and shocking green eyes. He works as a stock broker in NYC and actually met Mario when Mario was taking care of Sara before she went to South Korea. They adopted Emmaline and Wilfred. Wilfred is 3'7" or 43" and his birthday is February 13th. He has dirty blonde curly hair, rather tan skin, and brown eyes. Every year though it seems his hair is getting darker so I wouldn't be surprised once he is adult his hair will be either a brown color or auburn. He likes to be called Will or Fred but not Wilfred. Emmaline aka Em or Emma is 2'11" or 35" and her birthday is June 6th. She has gorgeous blue eyes complimented by wavy strawberry blonde thick locks and everyone is hoping her hair stays that color.

We get closer and Mario gets me into a hug.

"How is everything going, Sue?" asks Mario.

"Good and you said you wanted to meet the adoptive couple so I brought them," I reply. "Mario, Nick, Will, and Emma this is my adoptive couple Selene and Robert Tesar; Selene and Robert this is my eldest brother and his family."

"Nice to finally meet you guys," inputs Nick as Mario gives a small growl from our Quileute decent but nothing normally happens. "Sorry about Mario, he is just really protective of Susanna sometimes overprotective of her which is the main reason he wants to meet you guys."

"We understand if our daughter or sister has gone through what she did then I'd want to meet the guys as well along with making sure she is alright," inputs Robert. "And I'm glad we can meet more of her family so we can keep in touch with everyone not just Susanna through face book or some other media. Of course, she will be getting the pictures and so forth but keeping her family updated as well helps. Not to mention, the child can have more family around."

Mario calms down and thankfully, they already got signed in so it is just waiting for a table so we end up talking and Emma pretty much sits on my lap. Over dinner, Mario just asks what they do for a living but they didn't tell him everything what is going on. There were a few more serious questions like living situations, and so forth which I covered already so I'm not worried, I just want them to find a job. The rest of the dinner we kind of make light conversations some about my pregnancy itself but I really don't mind that I just don't want Mario drilling them. Robert and Selene leave early so once everyone was done we just go to my apartment so they can get Emma and Will down for the night since they just got in or at least Nick does. Mario and I are in my kitchen talking while Leo said he had something to wrap in the bedroom.

"Well it seems you picked out a good couple," states Mario. "I'm not pissed that you are having an adoption plan for this child since it is a wonderful thing and so forth otherwise we wouldn't have Emma or Frank today. I'm just coming at this as a safety issue with all what you went through and I don't think you want that to be repeated, do you?"

"No, I don't but I trust my gut and it says that these are the right couple for me. They may have hit a rough spot but they'll get over this soon. I'm glad they liked my gift. So how is your own search for your 3 child going?"

"Good, we are actually looking into foster system this time around so we have been doing the house inspections and so forth so we aren't going with an actual agency this time. I know we may not get a kid soon from this but it will at least help the ones who really need it and have no chance going back to the birth parents. Anyways, did you find out the sex?"

"It is a little girl so I have been correct by saying she throughout this pregnancy. I'm just hoping this doesn't end up like my 1st pregnancy but she was doing very well and is active as hell. In fact she is up again kicking the hell out of me."

"I know you have an adoptive couple so that would be devastation but if she is moving around and has a good heartbeat then nothing should go wrong. I am curious what your birthing options are though. Is he even allowing you to go natural?"

"It is to either have a natural birth with me moving around and he doesn't really like that for me considering my brain damage and where it is located, a water birth which if I want to do all natural will be the best option, or I'll have to be put under to have a c-section. My neurologist has told my ob/gyn and me that an epidural or a spinal block might do more damage than actually help with pain management. Then again it will depend if I get pre-eclampsia because of my head problems I have to have a c-section no matter what with that, and I believe since he won't induce me but won't let me pass my due date I might have a c-section if I go over by a day. But not matter what happens for medical reasons there are things in place that has to be rigid for the baby's safety and my safety."

"I'm glad you have options, I didn't think they would. One of my friends is an ob/gyn, we somehow end up discussing your situation, and he said that if he had a patient like you one he would only let you do it naturally if you were too far a long and progressing fast otherwise, it would have been a scheduled c-section. I know he would work with the neurologist but from what is sounds like your ob/gyn are heavily working with your neurologist to come up with the best plan possible and let you have a choice on what you want to do."

"He is and I want to try a water birth if I can because I can have Leo there and the adoptive couple along with my doula otherwise no one but the doctors and I can be in the room. There is no doubt that this is breaking a few birth center policies but my ob/gyn used to be a male midwife as well so I think he wants some sort of vaginal birth plan for me as long as everything is looking good and I don't pass my due date."

"That is probably better in some ways and in others not so much but at least you'll be given at a much fairer shot this time around. I know the last time we talked over the phone you have been craving kimichi that you had to make more since you ate the last bottle that was made 6 months ago, I'm wondering if you got more or not?"

"I still craving kimichi so it is basically going out here and get home made since I can't stand store bought and it is a major craving. I'm just glad it is healthy and I can have it with dinner, in fact most of my cravings have been healthy, I think a few days ago was fresh seafood, different fruits and so forth. My weirdest combination so far is a kimichi omelet but it was so good."

"That doesn't sound half bad since it is just like a vegetarian omelet except the vegetables are fermented. You so far haven't had Leo or Marcus gets you late night cravings?"

At that Leo comes in and sits beside me before chipping in, "Not yet but that might come later since Sue has been tired from everything so she ends up sleeping. I know I would be up for it but she needs her rest as much as she can get."

"With what is going on, rest is just as important even if you both are angels. If you need anything we can help and what not."

"I still have more cookies to make tomorrow so I could easily use the help with that since I only have snickerdoodles and chocolate chips. I'm hoping to at least get sugar cookies, white chocolate macadamia nuts, and Swedish rolls done before Christmas," I reply. "Everything else is decorated."

"Good list, I'll get some done in the morning so you can sleep in but I'll probably wait for you to do the sugar cookies since Emma and will like making them with you. But it is getting close so we can't get a lot in. But it might be white cookies so the kids can help making the batter and frosting them even if that will be when they are cooled down."

"That sounds fine."

"Oh, are you going to have a baby shower?"

"Just for me, I don't think that is appropriate since I placing the child up for adoption, if you at least include Selene as the actual guest of honor I wouldn't object since she is the one that will be the mother. A few people have offered and I said that so I have my doubts that a baby shower will happen unless it is a surprise baby shower. Any particular reason you ask?"

"You do remember the Cullens right? Your next door neighbors since you were 4 to 12 well one of them contacted me since I gave them my number while you were there for your safety. I wasn't expecting them to contact me after you got out of the situation but apparently they heard the news and want to through a baby shower for you."

"Slightly, I think at least one knows that I'm an angel if not the whole family from that person. But I wasn't close to them at all, the only time I talked to them when Dr. Cullen was my doctor in the ICU and recovery when I was 13. It is a nice gesture but I don't even know where they live and the same thing applies to them if they do want to host a party for me."

"I told them that most likely that you wouldn't fall for it but I think the person identified herself as Rosalie and our cousins told them that you were pregnant. I do want to call back and give them the final answer so I can take it I can tell them no?"

"Correct, and if I do end up with my little rose at the end of everything, I will most likely do a 100 day celebration then it would be just family and friends not acquaintances. But that will be decided after I give birth and the adoption has taken place or not."

"That's understandable."

At that, the evening goes well but before Leo could discuss anything with me since he looks like he has something on his mind I end up falling asleep. I wish I could stay up longer to talk with him but right now, my body needs its rest from carrying a baby. Though, I do have a suspicion that it is about getting married sometime in the future. We tend to talk about it at night when no is up but us before I got pregnant but now we really haven't discussed it and I've been sleeping more. Do I think he will propose to me? Yes, but I'm hoping not while we are in school and I have let him know that if he does ask me while we are both in high school not to expect a date until after we both have graduated.

*Wiki answers What_is_the_average_leg_to_torso_ratio

**Korean Romanization from my phone


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